Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Nate crooning on vocals while grams plays rockband at her house!! that game is so much fun!

Hows about a mexican red knee tarantula for christmas?!

He was so happy to get his ipod touch that he literally fell down. It was a christmas classic!

Creepy little robotic spider! What was Santa thinking??

Wii fun at gram's :)


i fixed it :)

now its just too cute for words :)

Monday, December 29, 2008

someone stop me.

i need help. take away my crochet hooks before i become more than just a happy hooker. I designed this strawberry iphone/ipod case today. it is so freaking cute in person. the seeds need some work though. this is just my prototype.

i made these :)

for ipod touch/iphones. How cute are they??

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Say what you need to say....but I really dont know what to say.

Today, or tonight I should say, I did some last minute grocery shopping while the boys were driving my mother in law crazy at her house. I was excited to get to escape from all the chaos that comes with raising 3 men. It took me 3 times to park my van straight in the parking place. After 2 years, I still can't park it. I'm used to my compact neon I drove for almost 10 years. I loved Miss Bertha Blue. Thats what I named her. Man the stories that little car could tell. heeheehee.

Anyhow, after standing in line for 30 minutes I drove to Burger King. I was starved and there was no way I could wait until I got home to eat. I'm a growing girl. I need my sustenance. After I placed my order I drove around to the first paying window and was surprised to see a girl I went to school with working the money window. I recognized her right off the bat and I know she knew who I was but she didnt say anything. I didnt want to embarrass her so I didnt make en effort to converse with her. I'm not saying there is anything at all wrong with working at fast food. I know people who have worked long and hard and built an entire career in the industry. I was just shocked to see this particular girl to end up in this particular choice of employment. But I have to say in this economic times, its lucky to even have a paying job at all.

She was one of "those" girls. I was jealous of her not because she was beautiful. I mean she was okay but she was on the chubby side and she was pretty average looking. I was jealous because she just seemed to have a great home life. Her parents were still married in high school. She worked after school at her moms office. She got a nice car our sophomore year. She has quite a few friends. I wanted her life. I wanted that and I didnt have it. And then it was just so sad to see her so haggard at 30 and working somewhere that I KNOW shes overqualified for.

Then, last week, I saw a friend of ours in the store and she told me how the church adopted her family so that her kids could have Christmas presents. She told me that she has been getting groceries from the food bank since her husband was laied off in September. She said that she was waiting for their electric to be cut off cause they owe over $700 to the power company.

I turned the corner to see another friend who told me about her recent seperation from her husband who left at Thanksgiving. She's having a tough time and depressed and all I could do was offer her shoulder to cry on. I didnt know what to say. What do you say to someone going through this?

I felt so lucky. So lucky to be who I am. I felt wealthy. Not wealthy in the "i have loads of money" sense but in the sense that I have a lot of good things to be grateful for in my life. I was lucky because I was able to give my kids the exact presents that they asked for this year without having to sacrifice a few bills or cut back on groceries to do it. We worked our butts off to be able to do it but we did it.

I really hope everyone has a great holiday. I wish I could visit every single one of you and personally hand you a card myself. I wish I could buy all those kids who wont get something from Santa, a gift. I wish I could feed all the hungry people in the world. I wish so many many things. I wish for good things for every single one of you.

Peace.Love.and Spongy cake.

Thursday, December 18, 2008


Dear GOD,

Please help me to keep from harming myself or the kids during their upcoming 17 DAY CHRISTMAS BREAK. Thanks so much for not causing it to snow causing a few snow days sprinkled here and there. No. Now they can have one HUGE break with me! All at one time. With me. Please help me to keep my cool when they're arguing over the last oreo and fighting over the same game deck. I promise that I will not put the children in the garbage for Monday and Friday pick up.

I know that children are a blessing and that sometimes blessings come with a 5 year old who has been sitting on the toilet for 2 hours because he had a "messy one" and decided to wait until it "just dried up" or mysteriously disappearing Dr Peppers that will inevitably get up and decide to drink themselves and leave their empty selves sitting on the counter instead of going into the trash can. And I know that given the chance the dog would probably have painted a bullseye on her butt anyhow.

I also know that I will probably never get the last of anything to eat in the house because I'm sure the boys will have 2 and 3 am gorge-fests. But thats okay. Its important for them to be strong.


Friday, December 12, 2008

i am in love....

i am. I am totally in love with Santa. I want to love him and kiss him and hold him for hours. Why? Because he loves me ya sillies!

He brought me an IPOD TOUCH! early of course because i am an impatient person and he knows that about me after 30 years of delivering my loot. I think i might leave him a little something special under the tree this year next to the cookies. Perhaps a few of Granny's SPECIAL rum balls? Those are the rum balls that get doused with half a bottle of rum AFTER they're baked. As granny says, "what good is eating alcohol flavored goodies if you dont get the buzz?"

I totally agree granny!

MUAH Santa!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I have a confession...

I used to make cheesy slide shows. I did and I LOVED it! One slide show that I particularly loved was called "THE POOL RULES". We were cleaning and filling up our pool and my brother in law took it upon himself to provide me with hours and hours of endless belly laughing video. When I am having a really bad day, I like to watch this video. I am so sorry Jason for throwing this out there on the internet but it has to be shared. This is one of my greatest works of art. I have to share it with the world. Just remember that no one does the soapy slide like you do!

So go pop some popcorn or "hot-porn" as my 5 year old calls it. Grab some tea or vodka-whatever you need to get you through the day and watch one of my first works of art.

Be sure to take special note of how my brother in law uses my children's bodies to scrub the bottom of the algae and mildew infested pool bottom. I am so happy that he taught me a new use for my kids!

Why I love being an Auntie....

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

I love being an auntie because I can love that little boy, and hug and squeeze him till he pukes all over the place and then, I can hand him back to his mom. Being an Auntie is the best thing in the world because you get to be the fun one! You get to take them out and stuff them to the gills with candy, be their friends when they're parents are mad at them and hand them back to their mom's when they have poopie drawers.
Its so great to get to be the fun one for a change! I hope you have LOTS more babies Teen. I am so excited to spoil them all!!!

Saturday, November 29, 2008


For cracking up every single time I see this video? I shouldn't laugh. I really really shouldn't but I cant help it. Poor grape lady!

Friday, November 28, 2008

i am pissed.

i am just so pissed off right now. I really truly just want to rip off this persons face, cut it up into little bits, fry it and then feed it to them. I am so sick of shady people. People who have NO respect for others. People who no matter how much you do and do for them, will some come up behind you and push you down. They're toxic people. They are people will smile to your face and kiss your husband behind your back. They are people who will smile to your face and talk about how big your ass is when you walk away.

I am just pissed. I am mad and pissed and mad and just well, freaking mad.

Thats my scream for the moment. Breathe in. Exhale. Breathe in. Exhale. The breathing techniques didnt work. I am still pissed.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I almost died in a tornado once......

I was in a tornado once. Well, not inside flying around Dorothy style BUT it did go by and I think I saw her wave.

Back to my story. I had decided that I needed to go to Walmart and I really didnt care that there was a storm coming. I even took my 3 month old baby with me. You see, when a girls gotta shop, not even a tornado can stop her. So, on the way to Walmart I heard a severe weather warning come over the radio followed quickly by a tornado watch. This means that conditions were "favorable" for a tornado but no funnels had been spotted yet. I was golden so I gathered up my baby and headed for some much needed stress releasing shopping.

I was piling my cart full of diapers, wipes and other necessities that I hated having to spend money on when over the PA system came a warning.
"Could everyone in the store please meet in the electronic department. There is a CODE BLACK."
Code black? What the hell is a code black? I thought it was some super secret special and they were gonna start giving away from DVD's or something. Hot dawg I hit the jackpot. And who says shopping during a tornado doesnt pay off. It turns out that a CODE BLACK is the sign that we're all gonna die so they wanted us all in the middle of the store together so they could keep better track of the bodies or something.
So here I am in the electronics department and everyones whispering about tornados coming our way and then hail starts pelting the tin roof of the store. It was LOUD. Then there was some banging. The baby started to cry so I picked him up and started to daze out. I was scared but I was more annoyed that very possibly the last thing I would see in my life was a 30" Zenith flying straight at my head. Death by television would have a whole new meaning.

Anyhow, I survived. No damage was done but I still have a hard time looking at a Zenith TV without having flashbacks and wanting to dive into a bathtub and cover myself with a mattress. I have issues.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I am so sorry to have been MIA for so long. (I really like that new MIA song by the way) but anyhow. I made a little stop motion animation movie with some shots i took on Sunday of the kids playing on the trampoline with their "Ant Soup". Her name is Sue but the kids call her SOUP. haha its so funny. Shes just one of those fun loving people who will get on that trampoline with the kids and bounce herself silly.

So, heres to you Ant Soup. May the bounce be with you wherever you go :)

Monday, November 10, 2008


Missy: "I may be the only girl in this house but I am FAR from a princess and I WILL kick ALL of your asses."

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Missys Quote Of The Week....

Missy: "I may the only girl in this house but I am FAR from a princess and I WILL kick ALL of your asses."

Friday, November 7, 2008

Peace, Love and Fluffy Stuff..

I am gearing up for an unbelievably busy weekend folks. I have a wedding at 11am which is about an hour and a 1/2 away and right after that I will drive an hour and a half back home to go to Spanky and Number 2's Championship football game. Then bright and early on Sunday, I'll start shooting Mini Holiday Sessions.

No rest for the weary eh?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Do you see what I see?

I spend hours and hours a day sitting at my desk proofing photos, surfing the net and learning how to make belts out of cardboard toilet paper rolls. My desk is my home away from home. Which is actually kind of strange to say because my office space is inside my home. I only have to walk like .00001 of a mile to get to my office. I know, I am VERY lucky.

I decided to make the wall in front of me pretty. I decorated it with affirmations and reminders of who I am and how much I need to believe in myself. I'm gonna share a pic of it with y'all. I took it with my celly so please excuse the bad quality. I have all kinds of little sayings there including a check from the universe for $50k. I'm still waiting to collect that one. I think I might have to send it to collections and have them harassed by debt collectors.

I may not be rich "yet" but I do believe that I am wealthy. I have healthy happy boys, a husband who loves me and hot food on my table every night.

Yes folks. I am a wealthy, wealthy lady.

Monday, November 3, 2008

The worst blogger ever....

I am. I am seriously the worst blogger ever. I got emails from ALL these wonderful people telling me how much they love my blog and then I leave them hanging. No posts for how long? Almost a week. You can all spank me if you want. I deserve it. I have neglected you all.

So lets see. What have I been up to?

Well, we went to a birthday party on Saturday where I told a very gullible man that I was Mary and my husband was my son Jesus. I told him he could read all about our lives in this really cool book called the Holy Bible. I am probably going to hell. I dont think they'll even give me the ride in the hand basket for that one. That same day I cheered for my oldest son at his football game and spelled "Redskins" with my body. Well actually I only got as far as "R-E-D" because fat girls bodies dont bend into the s shape very well. We still end up looking like a lumpy "I".

Oh my happy moment for the weekend was when I went into the Don Jons at the football fields and there was ALCOHOL WASH FOR YOUR HANDS!! We're lucky if these things have TP in them let alone hand sanitizer. Its the little things that make me happy. Hand sanitizer, warm socks on a cold night, my kid wiping his own butt, my husband wiping his own butt and not making train tracks in his drawers. You know, the little things :)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Sigh...I have no words..I am totally smitten...

Thursday, October 23, 2008

taking it back...

Remember when cartoons were cute and sweet? Remember when it was fun to watch them on Saturday mornings? Kids these days have it way to easy. They dont know what it means to anticipate anything. The just expect everything right then and there.
I loved Disney Silly Symphony cartoons. They were my favvvvvvvvvvvorite. I'm gonna share one with ya. Its called "Little Hiawatha". When I see these old time favorites pop up on the kids Disney channel I run in there to watch it with them. I'm so sick of seeing nothing but the Sprouse twins and Mily Cyrus on that channel. BRING BACK THE CARTOONS MAN! ITS LIKE WATCHING MTV AND NOT SEEING ANY MUSIC VIDEOS which is a total other pet peeve of mine but thats another story.

Friday, October 17, 2008

I know what hope looks like...

I know what hope looks like. I do. I have seen what it looks like. It was shown to me yesterday through the heart of group of boys. They painted a pink ribbon on the field next to their Tiger paw. They sported a pink strip going down their helmets and a pink stripe on their jersey. On the field they held their helmets high and carried a banner to bring awareness to breast cancer. After the coin toss, each boy gave her a pink carnation.

Their honorary captain for the day was Mrs. Heppe. She is a breast cancer survivor herself and my 5 year old's kindergarten teacher. I have never in my life met a more kinder soul than that of Mrs. Heppe. I am honored to have her teaching another one of my boys. When I send him to school in the morning, I know that he is in the best and most kindest hands possible.

So this post is for Mrs. Heppe. The face I see when I think of HOPE.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


I am NOT one of those moms that will brag and brag about their kids. I mean, don't get me wrong I am very proud of all 3 of my boys but I think that there limit about how much you can brag about your children to other people. Everyone knows one of those parents right? Yeah, you know who I'm talking about and if you don't well then, your probably one of them. Me? I'm just happy when my kids put the toilet seat up before peeing. What can I say? I have low standards.

I have put together a small list for you to compare yourself too in case you have no idea if you are or not. These are actual situations that I have been in. If you are one of these people dont worry, there is help for you. We have rehab programs out there for you. You have to listen to other parents go on and on about their kids and your not allowed to say a word.

If you brag about how great of an artist your 3 year old is and how he can draw like professional artist but all the while your kid is sticking his crayons up his nose-then shush it.

If you brag about how your 4 year old is reading at a 3rd grade level and your friend looks over and sees your kid ripping pages out of his 3rd grade level book and eating them-then shush it.

If you brag about how your 2 year old has the extensive vocabulary of a 5 year old but all your kid really says 24-7 to everyone is "bitch"-then shush it.

And finally if you brag about your kid doing all these things above but is STILL on a bottle at the age of 4, not only will your kid have major issues later on life but you seriously need to shush it.

Now, having said all that here is my mommy brag for the week hahahaha. Its a legitimate brag though. I mean its not one of those "Awww look! He picked his nose but he did "not" eat it this time" kinda brags. My oldest son was inducted into the Babe Ruth Baseball Leagues "Best players of 2008" all-star book that will go into both of the National Hall of Fame libraries and archives. I have to submit a picture and I think this is the one I'm going to choose. He has his catchers mask and bat in this picture. What do you think? They want a black and white.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Thanks mom and dad for having nothing better to do during that winter of '78. I sure do appreciate it.

So, I am a 30 year old woman. I was having trouble but I'm actually okay with it now. See, here's the thing. When I see someone that has known me for ever (ants, uncles and stuff) and tell them how old I am, they cant believe how old they have gotten. Then, I feel rather young haha. Its mean I know its wrong but dude seriously, sometimes ya just gotta have that pick me up.

Lets be honest people. When you see someone that you haven't seen in 10 years and their ass is a little worse for wear. They're boobs are a little saggy and they really didnt do anything to their hair that day. You say to yourself, wow, I'm glad I didnt let myself go like that. Right? Yeah, don't lie.

Anyhow, today I'm taking it back on the blog. I'm playing one of my favorite songs from my youth. Enjoy it groupies! You know you still bobbin' your head to this beat!!
You can thank me later ladies. I know he still gives me "good vibrations". haha

Monday, October 13, 2008

To whom it may concern...

To whom it may concern,

I promise to never EVER complain about getting older again. I will rejoice in the fact that I have another year under my belt and another year to have watched my three boys grow to become men. I know that if I believe, positive things will come my way. Also, please pray for our dear friend who told us this weekend that he was diagnosed and has been battling Leukemia. A father of 2. A husband. A son. This man drug himself out to watch his son play football and his daughter cheer while wearing a surgical mask and coming from chemo.

I'll never complain about my children making to much noise giving me a headache. I'll never again complain that my husband asked me to make him something to eat after 9p because he suddenly had a case of the munchies.

I'll not complain again about life. I'll live it and love it and find beauty in it every day.

With Love,

Friday, October 10, 2008

I meet a dragon...

My cousin recently got married. I photographed his wedding. I was fine while I was photographing it but when I got into the car to leave I bawled like a baby. I was so thankful that someone would put up with his spoiled ass. Haha Just kidding TJ if your reading this. You know I love you. Actually I cried because he's gotten so much older and that in turn means that I am getting older. Blech.

I'm dealing with turning 30 next week. What will make me super duper happy is if I get a dragon like the one TJ and Christina had at their wedding. I want my very own dragon. I'd pet it and feed it and love it allllllllll the day.

I guess Spanky may be upset if I tried to bring it into the bed considering the dragon comes complete with 2 little Chinese men.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Have a nice day :)

I'm still trying to get myself out of a rut this week. Do I look stressed to you? Are my eyes a little too stressed out looking?

hmmmmm, I need a few cucumbers for my peepers..

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

On a more serious note....


Our right to vote as women is fairly new to this country. We were given our first vote in 1909. 1909. 99 years. Approx. 36,100 days-give or take a few. I use the term "given" loosely considering what our sisters had to do in order for us to have the right to stand beside our husbands at the polls. They were beaten. Jailed. Starved.

Sometimes we get too wrapped up in our own lives to remember what was sacrificed for us to be able to live the way we do today. We're accepted alongside male doctors and lawyers and other professions as colleagues. As equals.

I was raised to always remember where you came from. Never forget the people that gave up things in order for you to succeed.

Lets not forget our sisters of the Women's Suffrage Movement. Register to vote and then go out and do it!

Monday, September 29, 2008


Well it cant very well be a photo blog with no photo right? I'm working on some "300" type processing for football photos. I'm not really sure if i'm digging it though

all i have to say today is this....

Friday, September 26, 2008

More from "Save a whale, harpoon a fat chick!"

Oh my God. Am I really going to do this. What do I do with the ton of lycra on my thighs and butt? I cant let him put his hands on my thighs and feel the jingle-guard granny panties. Think. think. Think. The bathroom! That's it! I'll push him off of me and say I have to pee.
He was so hungry for me. His kisses were like attatcks on my lips and his hands were starting to roam towards my waist. Panic mode set in. I took a deep breath and shoved him off as hard as I could.
"Am I going to fast? I'm so sorry." He looked so confused. I felt sorry for him. He was genuinely concerned for my readiness. He on the other hand was pitching a tent that could have housed an entire barrack of soldiers and there were no concerns on my end about his readiness.
"Everything is fine, I just have to go to the bathroom." I smiled and acted as shy as I could. I wanted to embarrass him into not asking anymore questions. I have found that anything to do with the female anatomy doing anything other than fornication was an instant lock-jawed subject with teenage boys.
"Oh, ok. Its through that door next to the closet." He pointed.
I jumped up from the bed and plowed through the door. I turned around and leaned against it to catch my breath. I stripped off the girdle as fast as I could. It was more like a coat of armor for my butt and thighs. It sucked in everything. I was still chubby when I wore it, but at least nothing jiggled when I walked.

I didnt want to throw it in the garbage can and I couldnt flush it.
I know! I thought. Under the sink! That way, it'll still be there when I come back to freshen up. "I am a freaking genius" I beamed to myself. I went to grab for the cabinet but there was some sort of lock on the knob. It connected to the side. I pulled hard and it finally popped off. I hastily tossed my girdle in and shut the cabinet door but not before I caught a whiff of the sweet sour smell of ass and sweat coming from it. When did I last wash thing thing? I honestly couldnt remember. The lock was now broken and the door wouldnt close all the way. Well, i'll just come in here before he does i said to myself.

I opened the bathroom door slowly and started over to the bed. He was laying on his back with his arms folded and his hands under his head. The only thing he had on was his white tube socks. I gasped and turned my head shyly away as I ran over to the bed. He didnt say a word as I laid down beside him. He rolled over on top of me, cupped my chin in his hand and kissed me deeply. I closed my eyes and drank in his scent. It was a mixture of maleness, earth and ass? What in the world? My eyes flew open as something wet and cold nudged my cheek. A little cry escaped my throat. We both looked over and saw his Black Lab Jeb's head resting on the edge of the bed with my girdle in his mouth. Now I know why those childproof locks were on the cabinet under his sink.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Ya dont say?

Colby: "Mom, I cant eat this pizza anymore."
Me: "Why not hun?"
Colby: "Because every time I cough the pecker-ronies get stuck in my throat and choke me."
Me: "Well ya dont say son."

Monday, September 22, 2008

The strangest thing I have ever done...

I do some weird stuff. I always have. I eat weird stuff. I have a strange flavor palette. I for one think Brussels sprouts are awesome. I love to eat snickers and nacho cheese doritos together. At the same time.

I have officially reached my highest weirdness factor tonight. I have NO shampoo. None. Not even a drop for the kids. The stiffed me and even put water in their shampoo bottle and sucked out the very last drop of glycerin. So I'm in the shower, and decided to use a bar of soap for my hair. I start rubbing it in and its just not working. My hair is way to thick and it hurt rubbing it into my scalp. I thought about using the Axe bodywash but I have an appointment in the morning with my 5 year olds school. You see, I didnt want to have the office ladies or the principals falling all over themselves to get to me. I mean seriously, I have stuff to do tomorrow.

So I look around and what do I see-puppy shampoo. Yes! I can use this! I mean its safe for puppies and its even tear free. I lather up my head and was smiling at myself for my quick thinking and then I get a whiff. I smelled wet dog. Well hello Fido. I poured the strongest smelling conditioner I could find on my head to hopefully water down the smell. I really hope I don't smell like a dog when I go into the school tomorrow. When I got out of the shower, I didnt know if I should even use the towel or just shake myself dry. I opted for the towel-this time.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Hiney Tingling Ice Cream.

The best ice cream ever is called "Birthday Cake". It is vanilla ice cream mixed with little bits of white cake with sprinkles and blue icing. It makes my hiney tingle just thinking about it.

If you can find it, your one lucky person. Go forth and find Birthday Cake Ice cream!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Football football..who's got the football..

Just a short post with a few shots from Number 1's Middle School football game. He's 21. He got to play linebacker (woohooo) and he even got a tackle. You can see the soles of his cleats in the pic of the pile of boys. The big ol'Nike thumbs up haha YAY. *\o/* (this is my cheerleader) rah rah rah, sis boom bah!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

My new favorite show.

Sigh, I just dont know where to begin. I have a strange obsession. Its vampires. I blame the Twilight book series. Its not that I want to dress up in black and drink blood. However, in my dreams I would love to be married to one hahaha.

Well, thats where this show comes in. TrueBlood http://www.hbo.com/trueblood/ Its the new show on HBO based on the Southern Vampire Mystery book series and it is AWESOME. Its a grown-up show. You cant watch this with your chil'rens.

This was a post by an online friend who summed it up better than I could:

"Hot vampire from another era madly in love with human woman? Check. Vampire is Obsessive and powerful? Check. Girl has special power? Check. Other vampires threaten girl? Check. Sex? errrrr...ok, I did say adult"-AJ

Now go forth and watch my little fang lovers.

Monday, September 15, 2008

For you Kitty...

Yum um ummmmmmmmmmmm

Random thought post of the week.....

Zits hurt really bad when they're on that cartilage between your nostrils.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Another excerpt from "Save the whales! Harpoon a fat chick!"

She turned me around to face the mirror. I threw up a little in the back of my throat.
She had fitted me in a deep purple jacket 3 sizes to large for my frame. She believed that if you were considered overweight, then you should hide it with even bigger clothing. The purple color washed out my complexion and ended up bringing out the dark circles under my eyes. My lips were an awful shade of purple and it matched my all too purple eye shadow. I looked like a corpse who was attending the wedding of Beetlejuice.
She reached towards the sink and grabbed a set huge purple porcelain circle earrings sitting in a dish. The rims were painted in metallic gold with gold polka dots painted all over them.
"The earrings are over sized but they're supposed to be" she said. "They're going to make your face appear thinner."
What if tried hanging them from my hips. Would it make my stomach appear thinner too?
"Will it draw attention away from my face?" I asked hopeful.
"And just why would we want to draw attention away from your makeup? I cant believe how well it turned out. Purple is definitely your color." she beamed.
"Oh God!" I screamed inside. "I look like a 12 year old schoolmarm hooker."

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


My life is over. Time has officially left my side. Its left me stranded in grown up land. I found something last night. Something to awful for me to even say. I cant tell you but I have to.

I found a man hair under my chin. There I said it. I FOUND A MAN HAIR ON MY CHIN!!

What does this mean? Am I suddenly going to start sprouting chest hair and back hair too? Oh please say it isnt so. Does this mean that I have to walk around spitting loogies and chugging beer while scratching my ass? If I ever do these things and then sniff my fingers please shoot me. Just put this old dog down.

The worst part is that it wasnt just one man hair. It was cluster of them. About 4 all crowded together giggling at me and pointing and smirking. I plucked them. That'll teach them to show up in the land of woman. Yeah, Yeah! Chigga-chigga-what-what!!

I say bring it on man hair. I got a new set of revlon tweezers and by golly I know how to use them.

If these start coming out of my nose or ears, please shoot me over that too.

Monday, September 8, 2008

see me now?

My new self portrait for my website. I've needed one for a VERY long time. I'm tired of everyone trying to figure who the crazy lady flagging them down and running with a ton of camera's hanging around her neck is their photographer. See with this portrait, I can hide beside a building and just peek around the corner. Hopefully they'll spot me. Or, I could just walk with one side of my face to the parking lots of doors at all times. hmmm. decisions decisions.

Oh and I would like to add that even though I may have portraitured myself, i have on NO MAKEUP!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

MAN! You smell like Phys Ed!!

I promised shots of me camping. This is the best I could do. I dont like anyone to touch my camera. However, I think I saw Spanky's cousin fondling my 70-200 lens. I cant say for sure. I hope shes not traumatized for life now.

Friday, September 5, 2008


So close Cheyenne!!

However it was made out of pork and chicken by-products lmao

oh and this is what made him wake up in the first place...

Guys are so stupid :P

Who shot JR?

Meet J.R.

This handsome devil is Spanky's cousin. He's a world traveler. He likes long walks in the park and holding hands under the stars. If I were to put out a personal ad for dear JR it would probably be this: "Minimalist seeks woman." He likes the simple things. Food,water and shelter. Oh and the occasional Dukes of Hazard get together.

Now, Spanky and the rest of his cousins like to use JR as the butt of most their jokes. Exhibit A.See the picture above? See the dazed and confused look on the poor guys face? What do you think is on the other side of this picture?

Well I could tell ya but then I'd have to kill ya. If you think you know the answer comment on it...I might post the other half if anyone guesses it :) This capture was well worth the price that I might get out of it when I blackmail him with it.

Love you JR!!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Why I love this baby...

Meet Caitlyn.

I dont love her because of those gi-normously squishy cheeks. I dont love her because she has no fear of my camera and still cracks up in the sweetest smile for me to take a "peek-chur" of. I dont even love her because she is just so freaking adorable that it makes my milk bags try to lactate and wish my belly started to swell. Oh wait, it did swell but that's only cause I had way to many gas inducing fried tomatoes over the weekend. My milk bags are still dry though.

No the reason that I love this little girl is because I can love all over her, spoil her rotten and carry her around for hours without putting down the little "sack-o-taters" and at the end of the day, I can give her back to her parents :)

Monday, September 1, 2008

Good to be back and a lesson in horseback breaking...

Ahhh. I'm sitting in my comfy chair. I'm sipping ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper and getting ready to watch an all new Prison Break on Tv. Sigh, I love Wentworth Miller. I loved him way back when he was on one of my most favoritest vampire movies "Underworld: Evolution". Sorry all you late Went lovers. He's mine and you cant have it. I saw him first.

Speaking of guys. I'll be posting this week about things that happened while we were on our camping trip over the long weekend. Here's a little scene right before we left. Meet self-named "Big-Daddy" Matt. He is a new rider of horses who decided that he needed to learn how to ride on a horse thats never been ridden. Works for me. I'm all about education.

Here we have a few little conversations I overheard while snapping these pics.

"Hey big daddy matt!
We have a great idea! We need someone to break in this horse thats never been ridden. We were gonna do it ourselves but we thought it would be more fun for someone who's never done it before to do it for us instead. What can we say, its boring out here in Deliverance land."

"Dont worry Big Daddy Matt. This horse is the sweetest out of the bunch. She has a personality like my favorite actress Joan Crawford.

Sue, I know I'm new at this but wasn't Joan Crawford an alcoholic sociopath?
Dont worry Big Daddy Matt!! Just make sure when you get on her you blow kisses at her, promise her scotch on the rocks and call her Mommy Dearest. Oh and I have great news! I just saved a load of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!!


Now, after all that bellyaching and worrying about something as small in life as breaking his neck, Big Daddy Matt's horse Breezy was as sweet as pie to this green rider.

See Big Daddy Matt? You crapped your pants for nothing. I'm glad I didnt have to ride home with you.