Monday, June 30, 2008

Day 181-Heres looking at you....kid.




I know how you feel baby girl. Your saying, "Who the hell is this crazy person and what is that big thing pointing at me." I felt the same way the firs time I uh, baked cookies. Yeah when I baked cookies with my then boyfriend. Yeah thats it.

Oh good gravy. My 5 year old bed wetter just downed an 18 ounce bottle of water at 9p. I think I'm just gonna make him a bed in the bathtub. I'll tell him that we're doing tornado drills but he doesn't have to put the mattress over him. Crap, then he might want take a bath by himself at 2am and thats not good.

Hmmmm. What if I bring in one of their old empty turtle shaped sandboxes and let him sleep in that. Yep, he's sleepin in the turtle tonight.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Day 178-L.O.L.


I'm planning something. Its in the works. Its still very virgin. Not prom night virgin because if my idea was a human girl it might be a little be on the easy side but only if you bought her dinner first.

Anyhow, heres the first picture for this project. Right now its called "L.O.L.". It probably doesn't mean what you think it means though. Know what I mean?

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Day 177-Another Birth Story...Baby C.

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A big congrats to Robby and Kim. I know you couldnt be there Robby so I hope that this slideshow makes you feel like you were.

Peace, love and spongy cake.

Day-177 Pissed


So I peed on myself yesterday. Yep, I tickled a stream all over myself. How, why, who, you ask?

Well, although I'm normally pretty good at aiming down into the bowl on this particular day I was taken by surprise by something of the winged persuasion.

I sat down to potty and was in midstream when all of the sudden something flew down the back of my shirt and I freaked out thinking it was a gross disgusting spider. I stood up to run and peed all over myself.

Apparently, my bladder doesn't have the the fight or flight response to danger.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Day-171 Queens and their bees

I've given my oldest son (the one I call Number 1) a new nick name. I'm going to start calling him L.L. Cool D.
Ladies love cool Dylan. While we were on our Fathers Day vacation I noticed all the little girls were swarming him. Granted there were only 3 but hey, 3 is enough to equal a swarm in the "Queen Bee" of girl standards.

Now, what my son didnt realize is that girls stick together. They roam in packs and have little honed in instincts to let them know when one another is in trouble. Kinda like, cramping but it can happen at anytime one of their swarm is in trouble. Here's where trouble started. Piggyback rides.

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And here's where my son went wrong. He started a stick fight with the Queen.
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Uh-oh! The cramping kicked in and here comes one! Run Number 1 Run!
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Um, where in the world did the third one come from? Its like she popped right out of thin air. See how dangerous those female creatures are Number 1?

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And this is how it ended. Scary little things arent they?
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See Number 1, when you mess with the uterus you get the ovaries too. There is nothing more dangerous than something mad and full of estrogen.

Monday, June 16, 2008

day 1 hundred and something or other...

Just a few shots from the Fathers Day vacation that we took. :)

I just want to put a formal happy fathers day out to my husband Spanky for without me, your day would not be possible :)

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and my personal favorite. The act of actually "becoming" a father.

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Day 161-The Big HURT

Talk about commitment on a play. This is my 11 year old taking a dive trying to catch a foul ball at his game tonight.

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While I was snapping my child in pain and reeling on the ground after he planted his entire body weight on his wrists I thought, hmmmm, am I getting the best angle for this shot? Would it be covered best from the side? But then of course I would have missed his facial expression which to me, sums up the feelings of every single player from tonights game.



Dont worry. AFter I finished taking a succession of shots of this particular play I realized that he just might be hurt a little bit and I put the camera down and walked over to make sure he was alright. Of course, he was. He's a tough kid. Takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'.

No 11 year olds were harmed in the shooting of this photo and no I didnt tell him to dive for a ball so that I could post a really cool action shot on my blog. What do you think I am folks? A meanie? *GASP* Well I NEVER.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Day 159-Dog Butchering 101

So I was bored this weekend and decided to try out a new profession. Photography isn't enough for me. I had to try out dog grooming. I decided to try it out on my pomeranian. I decided that she was to hot under her huge fluffy coat and it needed to come off for the summer. I mean seriously, who wants to run around with a huge ball of frizz all over their body when its 105 degrees. Besides, Steve Correl people. Stay with me here.

Anyhow, I picked up some $25 pet clippers and went to down when we got home. Fur was flying, my girl was trying to run away. I had her tucked under one arm and the clippers in the other. Well the clippers weren't cutting through her hair to well so I decided to take the scissors to it first. I chopped away all the hair I could get my hands on. I may have puked a hair ball. I'm not admitting to anything.

My end result is a pomeranian with a butchered coat. I am to embarrassed to even take her to the groomers because I know they'll cackle and laugh at me when I leave. They'll talk about how people are stupid to think that they can do something like this on their own and they should leave it to the professionals and guess what. I couldnt agree MORE. They'll rush home to their families to tell them all about the poor little dog that came in with the mentally ill mom that tried to make her look like a chiuahuah.

Here is my beautiful girl before.

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And here are a few of my poor girl after. Dont judge me before you walk a mile in my Crocs.

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I have learned in my life to leave dog grooming, cable and septic system installation to the professionals.

If anyone knows a good groomer that will not laugh at me too much and take pity on my poor girl please let me know. I'm going to go eat lots of spongy cake and possibly a whole side of beef. Maybe both together. I'm not sure yet. I've depressed myself looking at these pics.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

DAY 154-THANKS FAUQUIER GATORS!!

My boys got to meet a wonderful group of guys tonight. The Fauquier Gators gave them a few tips on pitching and batting. It was a great experience for the boys and so great of the Gators to do that for the boys. My boys have decided that their signed Gator posters are the most prized posession of their lives. I think you guys might even rank higher than the PSP's and Wii's. Okay maybe not THAT much but a lot.
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I only snapped a few pics because I didnt want to embarass my guys by running behind them snapping all of their life moments for the hour they were on the field with them. Seriously, do you guys have ANY idea how hard it is for a photographer to restrain from snapping the shutter through moments like this? I think I popped a vein with all my self control. I had to treat myself to a Pina Colada ice pop when we got home to calm the frazzled photographer OCD I have.

Its official. I have ruined my kids for picture taking for the rest of their life. Its sad. I mean, what kind of mom would I be if I didnt have pictures of my oldest riding his hobby horse in nothing but a pair of power ranger underoos while sporting yellow rainboots?



Oh, and I apologize for not keeping this a true day to day account of my life in pictures. Its also official that I am a failure. *sigh* At least I still have my spongy cake :)