Thursday, January 24, 2008

Day 24-Interview with P

I interviewed my bestfriend the other day. She's a closet OCD neat freak. I like having her in my life because she balances out my OCD filthiness. Its chronic. Its disgusting. Its me.

I will call her "P" to protect the identity of the innocent. Dont believe she is that innocent. I was at Prom with her. I know what you did that summer "P".

Me: "hi P"
P: "hi you"

Me: "hey do you know we just said "PU" HAHA
P: "Your a dork. What do you want I'm cleaning the toilet."

Me: "P, how many times a day do you clean your toilet? Do you think you have a dirty mind and the only way to fix it is by dousing everything with bleach?"
P: "huh?"

Me: "Nevermind. Did you wash laundry yet today?"
P: "You know I wash clothes every morning. When are you coming by to pick yours up. They're folded even though you didnt want me to do it. "

Me: "Your so sweet. Have you ever woken up out of a dead sleep with a need to make the bed your laying in?"
P: "Did you take your meds today?"

Me: "Yes. Have you ever found money in my laundry and kept it?"
P: "You dont have any money idiot."
Me: "Yes I do."
P: "No you dont."
Me: "Yes I do."
P: "Then you better give me back the $20 I loaned you yesterday."
Me: "I cant. You know I'm always broke."

Me: "How many times a day would you say you think about having things in order?"
P: "I dont think about things being out of order ever so all the time I guess and stop turning my knick-knacks around backwards and making my pictures crooked."
Me: "It wasn't me. It was the one armed man."

Me: "They say men touch their belt when they're thinking about something they shouldnt. Do you touch the 409 bottle you keep in your cleaning vest."
P: "Have you seen my Twinkies I had on the counter when you stopped by this morning?"
Me: "Sorry that concludes our interview for the day."
P: "You have them I can smell them on you!"
Me: "No I dont and you cant smell things over the phone anyways. Freak."
P: "Hog"
Me: "Are you making porkchops for dinner? What time should I be there."
P: "This concludes our interview for the day."

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