Sunday, March 30, 2008

Day 89-Its not just humans who have marital problems

Its not only the human species that has marital problems. I was walking around outside and saw this Cardinal couple squawking at each other something fierce.

From what I could gather from their conversation, Mr. Cardinal told Mrs. Cardinal that she looked like she was having some trouble working off her winter weight after she asked him if her feathers looked a little tight on her. This statement earned Mr.Cardinal a peck in the head and Mrs.C ran away from him down the branch.

She was sobbing and wouldn't look at him. He in turn decided to face away from her and said she was to sensitive and that he wouldn't tell her the truth about anything she asked him again. I can't be for sure but I think he flipped her the bird with his wing. Is that even possible since they are birds? Okay, I'll say he flipped her the middle feather. Then she told him that she should have married the nice Bluejay that grew up down the branch from her and he said that she should have since her mother never liked him anyway.

At this point I was having flashbacks of my childhood of bickering parents.
Well Mrs.C decided to drop the bomb on Mr.C. "The reason I've gained so much weight is because I'm carrying your eggs." she said. Then heard a gasp and "THUD". Mr.C fell of the branch, hit the ground and Mrs.C flew down after him. She picked him up his little birdie head with her little birdie wing and told him she loved him and he said he loved her. This is the part of the story where you gag at the cutsie-wootsie.

I'd love to hear what they think about each other in 2 months when they're fighting over who's gonna get the worm at 2am and change out the down inside the nest every few hours.

Yep, its not just humans who have marital problems.

Friday, March 28, 2008

DAy 88-Another one bites the dust

The virus is still making rounds in the house. I havent slept in about 4 days. I have cleaned up more vomit than rollercoaster attendant. I have decided to wear Lysol as perfume. Just a lil dab on the wrists and neck and I'm good to go. Lawsie mercy please let this pass through soon and please let it pass by without me getting it.

P.S. I'll be photographing another birth Monday. Stay tuned :)

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Day 85-Chicken Little Gets A Turn At Bat

I didnt take this shot today. Its from a little while ago. We're getting all of the boys ready for baseball that starts next week. My 5 year old is so excited. He's feeling much better today. Thank you to everyone who sent him well wishes. It really meant alot to me.

Now, the Colbster dressed himself for practice with dad on the day of this particular shot. Notice he's wearing his favorite shirt with a baseball on it but its backwards. Gotta love "kid fashion". To me, he looks like Chicken Little. If you have kids under 10 years old I'm sure you've seen the Pixar version.

I personally LOVE Chicken Little. I always carry an umbrella with me in case the sky starts falling :) Of course, I usually have on hip waders too in case I start getting in to deep with my own crap haha

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Day 84-Frequent Flyer

Well I am just racking up a ton of frequent flyer miles to Fauquier Hospital these days. I had to take my youngest to the E.R. today. He was very dehydrated and suffereing from a gasterointestinal thingy. Translation-"Mama ain't gettin' no sleep"

My boy is so brave. He didnt even cry when he was given the I.V. I was worried that it was something besides a stomach bug because on Monday in the midst of my "boys being boys" they found a dead bird. Being the sweet little boys they are they decided it needed a funeral which meant that they were all handling it and passing it around while they prayed for it.

Now, they tell me it took 4 tries to bury this bird because everytime they would walk away the beagle would dig it up. I knew something was up when I saw the dog running back and forth in front of the double doors with the boys screaming behind her. The finally placed a large rock on top of the poor little grave and that finally kept Dixie out of their cemetary.

The bird fortunatly didnt give the boys any serious illnesses. *fingers crossed like applesauce* They really are good natured and sweet little boys. Who'd a thunk it ;)

Monday, March 24, 2008

The Joys of Travel

The joys of travel
We drove 5 hours to see Spanky's Grandfather for Easter. It was kinda like a big family reunion. Sort of but not really. Anyhow, we decided to book a room instead of staying with family this time because well, there are 5 of us and my boys snore and get up 10 times a night for water and then they need to watch T.V. at 2:30 in the morning in order to "clear my head for bed Mom". I still want proof from the doctor that this was his recommended treatment for snoring for a 10 year old.
When we got the key to our room we were EXHAUSTED. Why does doing absolutely nothing for 5 hours straight and not moving a muscle make you so tired? This is one of those great unsolved mysteries isn't it. Where is Robert Stack when you need him?
Okay so we walked in and I immediately went right for the first bed I laid eyes on. Ahhhh, the bliss of laying on a pillowy pile of heaven made me almost pass out on the spot. With heavy lidded eyes I looked up at the stucco ceiling and noticed how white it was and tilted my head back a little further to follow one particularly striking pattern that was in the shape of Utah when something caught my eye.


It was the portrait that was hanging above our bed. It wasn't flowers or a pretty a mountain view. Nope. I looked up and saw this wonderful portrait of a big deer.
A HUGE buck standing at attention and ready to crack antlers with anyone who dare come to close to his bed. Can't I get away from the hunting theme for just one weekend?
Well then I shifted my gaze to the wall in front of my bed. It was kinda blurry at first. There was a pattern but it was a busy one so it was a little hard to distinguish at first.

I looked closer. Apparently there is a roller for painting your walls that has built in stencil of deer and pine trees. It flooded the wall in a wonderful arrangement of brown on white.
Do you see where this is taking me? Right back to the hunting theme. I was a little bit scared I was going to be cast in a remake of Deliverance. I know I'm chubby but no way am I playing Ned Beaty's part. Uh-uh. Nope. No way.
The motel that we stayed at shall remain nameless because I don't want to embarrass anyone. I will say that no matter how outdated the decoration was, the hospitality was anything but. They were warm and friendly. The room was clean with fresh towels, clean sheets and the remote to the T.V. where it could be found and that my dear friends is a miracle in itself because I cant even accomplish these feats in my own home.
Yep-it was a great Easter!

Friday, March 21, 2008


okay party peoples, I am outtie till monday. I Know your going to miss me something fierce but dont worry. I'm taking 2 of my favorite trash novels, gameboy, my camera, orbit white gum (so i dont have to brush my teeth), a days supply of orange slice gum drop candy, suckers, chocolate bunnies, milk duds, reese's peanut butter eggs and the kids candy for easter too.

stay tuned monday for pics and stories of travel. I know your all dying to know how my easter goes. All 4 of you haha

happy easter!!!!!

miss me while i'm gone :)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008






Tuesday, March 18, 2008

day70 something- falling behind

I have been busy. busy busy busy busy and busy. I just finished the slideshow for my very first birth that i photographed. So today I am sharing that instead of a new photo. Although, tomorrow Ill show you a pic of my new love. It makes my heart go pitter patter. It makes my blood pump in a strange rythm and it makes my hiney tingle.

Oh yes, HUGE hiney tingler. Stay tuned for tomorrows post. You wont regret it. Oh and yes I do have photos of the last few days I just havent gotten them off the camera yet. theyll be up tomorrow with a photo of my new hiney tingling love.

so without further ado, let me introduce Miss Ryleigh Swain. Born Feb 28, 2008 in beautiful fauquier hospital. Thank you so much again Kevin and April for letting me be part of something so beautiful. I am forever changed as a person.

you may need to install an active x control to view it and maybe turn off any firewalls or something.
Or you can view it right here :)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Day 71-Best friends

They come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they even come in different species. I told you all about my bes tfriend in an earlier post. Yes shes still scrubbing her floor daily and probably bleaching the toilet as we speak.

My husband and his best friend are not polar opposites like me and my bestest. No, they're both dirty, grimey, gross, nose picking boys. They do the normal things males do together like mooning each other and blowing snot rockets at one another.
They also like to canoe. One evening after work they decided they wanted to get in a few hours of "fishing". Well they floated a part of the river that they had never been down and they started losing light fast. Not only was it getting dark but it was also starting to thunder and lightning. Guess what? Neither one thought a flashlight was something they would need while fishing in the dark. No no. Real men dont need flashlights for night fishing. They rely on their instincts they have left over from the days of cave men. Thankfully they're not wearing bear skin dresses as well.

So here we have 2 men floating down a river in the pouring rain, in the dark with no flashlight. They decided to get out of the water because, well, one of them realized they were perfect lightning rods. Duh guys! Then, Buckwheat got out of the boat without telling Spanky and Spanky went face first into the water. They began to climb out of the water up the bank and guess what. It was muddy and they couldnt make their way up. Hello? Mcfly? Is anybody home?

The kicker is that they could only go a few feet at a time because they had to move with the lightning. Why you ask? Remember? Real men dont need flashlights for night fishing.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

day 70-a step back in time

We went to Colonial Williamsburg yesterday with my oldest sons 5th grade class. It was amazing! If you get the chance to go you should do it!

Here are some shots from yesterday :)

Monday, March 10, 2008

Day 69-He loves me

He loves me not....
He loves me........
He loves me not....

Yeah, he loves me....

Sunday, March 9, 2008


A shot from Saturdayd wedding.

How cute is she??

Friday, March 7, 2008

Da 67-I know what love is

When the lady brought out my Vera Bradley bag I could actually hear a song playing. It went like this:

"I wanna know what love isssssssssssssssss
I want you to show meeeeeeeeeeeeee"

Dont you just love that matching cell phone holder??


I dont always know where I'm going but I always know where I've been :)

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Day 64-65, I'm a WHAT???

We inherited a bird last night. Not just any bird. A Nape Amazon parrot. He talks. He squawks. He's like "so dope". I am determined to make sure this guy is happy and enjoys the rest of his life just chillin' and poppin' a few back with the old man. I'm kidding. I dont give animals alcohol although when my pomeranian is running circles around me for 15 minutes straight, I'm all for a little self-medicating.

Now, the parrots name is Grady and Grady hasnt warmed up to me yet. I decided that I was going to make him love me right from the start. I was standing at his birdie condo that someone mistakenly bought him as a cage and said "Would you like some apples? I'm gonna go get you an apple."

As I turned and walked away I heard him making a little squak and then called me an a**hole.
Well, is this the beginning of a beautiful friendship or what people.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Day 63-I'm a Criminal

I STOLE SOMETHING. I'M A THEIF. I'M A CRIMINAL. I WAS AFRAID TO GO GET THE BACKGROUND CHECK I NEEDED SO THAT I CAN ATTEND MY SONS FIELD TRIP WITH HIM NEXT WEEK. I didn't want to show up and be arrested at the human resources office in front of everyone. I mean seriously, how embarrassing would that be. Just in case I was, I made sure I had on clean underwear and socks with no holes. I cant be stripped search wearing crusties now can I?
As I was filling out the info on the sheet I lied about my weight. Okay first of all its not their business what I weigh. I'm dieting so I put my goal weight on there. I like to project positivity. Then I had to strain my brain to remember my address from over 10 years ago. My palms were all sweaty and I felt like I was taking the SAT's. Then they wanted my age. My mind went blank. How could I not remember how old I am? I thought 28 but then starting counting backwards and ended up with 29 so I put 27 just to be on the safe side.
I was convinced that I would be arrested on the spot for stealing a candy bar when I was 4 years old. What if I had a record that went back to my preschool days. It wasn't even a good candy bar. I wanted the Mr.Goodbar and ended up with a Mounds that I didn't even get to eat because the store owner ran outside, swiped it from my hand and drug me back in where he then called my mom. I was so embarrassed being caught in front of my friends and to top if off there was a police officer who happened to be sitting in his car at the time of my crime. BUSTED. I almost made a clean getaway on my yellow banana seat junkyard bike. Damn the man.
Fingerprinting was fun and when it was all done the nice lady said if they're are issues we'll call you. I said "Thank you so much for giving me time to get out of the country if I need too". I've always wanted to see Brazil. I know that candy is coming back to haunt me.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Day 62-Talented Fauquier

Fauquier has some real talent. I went to the talent show yesterday that was in a warehouse somewhere across from Walmart. It was really neato torpedo and made my toes tingle.
There were some amazing acts. I have to say that the unicylists scared me a little bit when a couple of them came out on 10 foot tall uni's with 3 wheels stacked on top of each other. I mean, I can't even ride a bicycle let alone something with one wheel. I trip and fall on my face on a daily basis just walking across the room. There will be a huge BOOM! CRASH! and you'll here my husband say "is your mom breathing?" The kids will say yeah and everyone will go back to drawing on the walls or kick boxing each other for the last donut.
I loved seeing the ballerinas. I wanted to be one so bad when I was growing up but the whole klutz thing came into play again. I was tossed out when I gave a girl a black eye trying to twirl. I should have been caution cones around me. I still think its her fault for not moving. I mean seriously, she had seen me try to dance before. Standing near me was like suicide. I wont even go into the "gymnastics" phase. We refer to that as the "dark period" in my life. As you can see, I had a very painful childhood.
One of my favorites of the day yesterday (and the reason I went in the first place) was my cousins little girl was performing with the Tip Top Twirlers of Remington. They were cute as buttons in their little outfits and tiny batons. Now, baton twirling is something I can actually do. I have no idea why but after giving myself several busted lips, a few bloody noses and one broken window it was easy as pie.
Oh yeah, there was a belly dancer. She was gorgeous, way cool and every single male ran in to see her perform. When I say every single male, I mean EVERY single male. Some dude went and sat on the floor right in front of her. Mysteriously after her performance all of the male audience disappeared. Whats wrong fellas? Didnt want to stay for the 6 year old Tip Top Twirlers? Phooey on you.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Day 61-Happy Birthday Colby!

I knew I loved you before I met you. When you entered our family: me, Daddy, Dylan and Nate finally felt complete. You are the missing piece to our puzzle and our light at the end of the tunnel. We love you more than words can say. Happy 5th birthday sweets.

Day 60-Happy Leap Day!

This is my kids favorite part about shopping. I have to admit that I always grab myself a little something from the treat machines too. Am I the only one who thinks that runts taste better by the handful and chewed all at the same time?