Day 149-"Hair" Today, Ghosts Tonight?

Well I havent brushed my dog in like 2 weeks. Now, to someone with a regular coated dog would thing, geez, I havent brushed my dog like, ever.

That would be fine and dandy but Spanky bought me a pomeranian for my birthday and well, the girls packing major folicles. And OMG my parrot just screamed at something in the dark. I totally think we have ghosts. I think I just peed my pants. Yep, I totally tinkled myself a little. Whew, my adrenaline is pumping and I'm scared to turn around. I think I'm being haunted by the ghost of Jim Carey. Oh wait, he's not dead yet. Well can I "hope" I'm being haunted by the ghost of the young hot Elvis? Okay seriously, you cant deny the dude had moves in the younger years.

Oh yes, moving back to subject of the blog. My girls Bells is getting shaved down. And OMG I just heard knocking over in the kitchen. Like someone was knocking on my cabinet or something. Okay seriously, I'm not interested in the Elvis ghost anymore lol. You can go now. No seriously, your nothing but a hound dog. OMG-cold breeze over my shoulder. Oh wait, thats just me breathing.

Anyhow, I'm just gonna show you how much hair I brushed off of her. Now, this is JUST from a brushing. Well like a 30 minute brushing but a brushing none the less. I had her hair up my nose. I had it entwined with my own hair when I went to pull it up. I think I might be able to make a wig out of what I brushed off of her.

Hmmm, a new business venture? Pomeranian Puffs? I can put them in little buns and people can wear them princess Leia style or little old ladies can wear them to church .

GONE GREEN!!

I am very excited to announce that Melissa Dawn Photography is now green! All session agreements, wedding contracts and payment info is now all electronic!

I have been working on this for a while and its great to finally see it live.

DAY 147-BIGGER IS BETTER

When it comes to fish that is. Okay, well lets face it. Bigger is better when it comes to alot of things like lenses, and butts oh and boobs. Wait no, thats only what my husband Spanky says.

Heres his catch of the day from yesterday. Its a 23" long catfish. He'll be eatin' good in the neighborhood.

Day 140-Happy Birthday Number 1!!

Meet my number 1. My number 1 turned 11 today. Wow! Seriously, when in the world did that happen?

Number 1 has always been a guiding light for me. He is strong, considerate, patient and loving. He's a straight A guy who LOVES his sports. He will always be my baby no matter how old he gets.

He puts up with my childish behavior. He laughs at my dorky jokes and always tells me I rock.

He's just such a great kid. I am so blessed that God saw fit to give me such an blessing for my first child.

However there are a few things that I feel I should apologize for. Please dont judge me until you walk a mile in my saggy bra. Here goes.

I'm sorry I made all my mistakes with you number 1. I'm sorry for all the times I dropped you. Oh and I'm sorry for strapping you to the hood when we didnt have room in the car when you were first born.

Kidding!! I'm kidding people lmaoo

Day 135-have you seen my thingy?

this was my anniversary gift from Spanky. Its a barrel to burn things in. He said look we can sit outside and stay warm by the fire in the evenings now. it says scotty n missy 4-15-00. those boobs are supposed to be zero's but he cut the holes to small lol um, thanks? no really it was very sweet. good job hun :)

133-WEEEEEEEE DOGGIES!!

Hmmmm, what do you do when its rained for 3 days straight, flooded in your county and everything is canceled including school and work?

Well ya go mud boggin' of course! In the backyard no less. Of course our backyard is a forest with lots of trails cut into it by Spanky because "you need to be prepared for when it might rain real good like." Well it did just that this weekend and yesterday.

So heres a few pics of the dirty, muddy afternoon we had in the backyard with the boys :) Spankys truck is way to tall for me to step up into. When I stand next to it the floorboard is at my waist. Yesterday was the first time since he's bought it that I have ever ridden in it. He had to stack cinder blocks for me so that I could climb up into it. Yes, I admit thats redneck. Lord have mercy is that redneck. Help me Tom Cruise!

Day 128-Luna Moth

I came home from dropping the boys off at the bus stop this morning and was greeted by this beautiful specimen of nature.

Its called a "Luna Moth". They're not normally seen especially during daylight hours. If you have been graced by the presence of this work of art from mother nature consider yourself in the club with the lucky few. I have a connection with this Luna Moth that goes beyond photographer and subject. It ties in with a very strange and vivid dream I had last night. I feel cosmically entwined with it. Its a long story. Maybe I'll tell ya sometime.

The Luna Moth represents the beauty, brevity, and complexity of life. But, most importantly, transformation. I think, No, I KNOW something big is coming and I am in the path of it. I can feel it in every fiber of my being. Its like there are sparks in the air. My soul is being awakened and everything is becoming clearer.

I'm paying especially close attention to the signs around me.

Day 126-Describe yourself on 2"x3"

Well this is me. This is my work. In a nutshell. Its so hard to try and define yourself on such a small canvas. Anyhow, these are the new biz cards coming next week :)

p.s. Sorry about all the watermarking. There has been a string of burglaries in the artistic community. Apparently STUPID people are STEALING images of other artists and using them for their own. Seriously people, how in the hell can you sleep at night knowing that your showcasing something thats not yours. All I have to say to you is, Karma baby. When she comes back around, she's a real bitch.

Day 121-My Girls

I'm SUPER-DEE-DUPER busy this weekend. I'm not gonna be around till Sunday or Monday but I didnt want to leave you without a weekend blog to pick your nose at. Make sure you click on the pics to make them larger so you can see the text. Its titilating and might make your hiney perk up and tingle.

My girls are two very hairy ladies of the canine persuasion. Sometimes they're as close as the closest human sisters. Sometimes they fight just like human sisters. I recently photographed one of their I love you/I hate you moments. Bells is the blond and Dixie is the beagle or as I like to call her, "the ugly sister". Kidding. I'm kidding lol



I heard them talking to each other. This is what they said.



And heres where the fur starts to fly......




Oh no she di'int!



That bitch is going down!



Pull her hair! Pull her hair!


Suckers. Hey that wasnt the boys undies it was mine. Thanks for chewing the butt out of my favorite pair ya skank.

Day 120-Some things never change.

Some things, well, they never change. Do you think men will EVER stop marking their territories?

Some things, they just never change.

Day 119-I didnt forget your birthday.

I didnt forget your birthday.
I remembered it.
I celebrated it with you but you weren't there.
But I didnt forget your birthday.
I made you a cake but I had to eat it alone.
It was sweet.
But I didnt forget your birthday.
I smiled when I thought of you happy.
It made me cry.
But I didnt forget your birthday.
I celebrated it with you but you weren't there.
I didnt forget your birthday.

Day 117-Wheres Waldo?

Wheres Waldo?

Lets see. Waldo has been lost for about a week. Omg do you guys hate me? I am so sorry for leaving all 4 of my stalkerazzi's out there to try and find their daily fix of crazy somewhere else. Hopefully you all still love me and can forgive a sistah whos been swamped, puking, cleaning up puke, swamped and cleaning up more puke. Did you know your dogs can get the flu? Um, yeah, so not pretty. I think I've learned what its like to live in hell.

Okay so heres the rundown for a few things that have been going down the last week or so. I went on a field trip with Cheeky. This is the new name I'm gonna use to refer to my 8 year old. We learned about where our steak comes from. Yes, the farmer actually pointed to specific parts of the steer that was standing eating in front of us and correlated it to what goes on the plate. The kids were crying and gagging. I was slobbering all over myself. Hey, I love rare steak. Just wipe its ass and throw it on a plate. If its still moo'ing then pass me a gag ball.

We learned about bugs we can find in the water. Yeah, I'm not swimming in the river anytime soon. Oh, and my favorite part of the ENTIRE trip was when I learned how to identify a hickory nut by the hottest forester worker I have ever seen. I have a new love for all things wood.

Oh and we went to "Headsucking '08". It was a crawdad fest thing. Basically I paid 30 bucks a person to eat some crawdads and watch Spanky get plastered beyond recognition. Thats not a story. The dude drank so much that he puked and laid down in it and refused to get up. He somehow managed to crawl onto the back of his brothers pick-up and when we got home, I left him out there. In the rain. Drunk. No covers. Yeah, slow your role fool. Learn your limit. I still love you though you ass. I cant stay mad at'cha for long.



My sisters and I have also decided that no matter how long we been married. No matter how many kids we have, we will always be D.G.4.L.'s. DIRTY GIRLS 4 LIFE. I had to protect one of my younger sisters from being hit on by all the dorks at what we now refer to as "Redneck Woodstock" so I pretended to be her girlfriend for the night. We called it Redneck Woodstock because it POURED for about an hour and everything was muddy so we were all barefoot. Only my baby sister was pregnant so she totally fit into that cliche. Barefoot and pregnant at the Redneck Woodstock. Lmao-I love you girl!!!



I also learned that I can drink a soda with my boobs. Its the coolest party trick EVER.

DAY 110

I love lilacs. They're not my favorite flower to look at but they're my favorite to smell. Its smells like spring ;)

Day 107-Clue Number One

The first clue to knowing your third baser is going to have a long game is when they're "sky watching" while the other team is batting.

The second clue to knowing its going to be a long game is when your third baser downs 2 full 16oz bottles of water in a matter of 7 minutes.

The final clue that its time to take your third baser home is when he blows chunks all over the inside of the dugout.

I do believe this was one of those days when I could have done without leaving the house but hey, I'm breathing so I cant complain...Much.

Calgon-take me AWAY!

Day 105-Passion

Could you do what Christopher Mccandless did? Could you give up everything to live free? I wish I could feel the true passion for living as he did.

This is my new favorite song. It moves me. The lyrics bring me to my knees and yet I cant seem to stop hitting the replay button.

DAY 104-I LOVE YOU MORE

I knew that the boy sitting on the stool next to me was the love of my life when he cut out the heart of our pig fetus we were dissecting in biology class.

He did all the work. He never made me touch it all. I remember watching him crack the chest of our little pig and thinking about how sweet he was and how adorable his dimples were when he smiled at me. Even now, the smell of formaldehyde brings back those goose bumps of a first real love.

I had to have this boy. I was seeing someone and so was he but I didnt care. I dumped my loser boyfriend and about a week later he was "mysteriously" not dating anyone anymore. We would spend hours on the phone. I'm talking 5-6 hours at a time until we were both falling asleep or the phones batteries started dying. We were inseparable for years.

Still, 12 years later, 8 years of marriage and 3 babies he still melts me with his dimples when he smiles. I could probably do without the hairy hiney that came out of nowhere 5 years into the relationship but hey, no ones perfect. How boring would that be :) So this ones for you babe. Look how far we've come.....

DAY 100-BOW CHICKA WOW-WOW!!!

So I havent really been doing the best job with posting a photo a day. I'm trying REALLY hard people. I swear. I'm sacrificing valuable me time to be here with you all. I could be like, washing my hair, or underwear or something. But no, I love you all so much (all 4 of you) that I forgo the silkiness of my blond tresses just to post for you all. Cause I love you. All of you. All 4 of you.

So today this post is about you. The wonderful fans. This is for you "C" from SoCal. You know who you are. You make me happy when skies are gray. You scare me a little bit too but thats okay-we're working through it. So come on yall! Lets see your best "ode to missy" photos or drawings or whatever you want to do. Make a wonderful mold out of doggie doodie

I love you too my happy little stalker!!!

DAY 98-I know my dog is gay

I know my dog is gay. Do you know how I know my dog is gay? Because she craps rainbows out of her butt. Thats how I know my dog is gay.

DAY 97-REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS FUN?

Remember when being a kid was fun? Remember when you heard the crack of the bat as it hit the baseball for the very first time? My 5 year old got to experience all of the yesterday at his very first T-ball practice.

"Oh," you say, "this is just gonna be another mom bragging about her kids kinda post". Well kinda. When Colby was born he was sick. He had life threatening heart problems. We lived at Fairfax Hospital for about 2 months trying to find the best medicine cocktail to control his heart rate. I've heard this kids heart rate going at 320 beats per minute and I've heard his heart stop completely. No parent should ever have to know what its like to hear nothing coming from your childs chest.

Anywho, Colby had his surgery last year to fix his little ticker. He's 100% cured and is fantastic. He smiled the entire time he was at practice. I have never seen the kid so truly happy. Its a blessing.

Its a blessing for me also because now that he's healthy I dont feel guilty making him wash dishes, do laundry, sweep the floors, take out the trash and bathe the dogs. Hey, 5 year olds need to earn their place at the table too.

Day 95-GPS folies

GPS-Global what?

In my world GPS stands for "going psycho sometimes". This is how my GPS made me feel today. It took me 3 hours to drive a place that should have taken only an hour.

Okay I will admit that its mostly my fault because when I would miss a turn Mio (thats my gps's name) would tell me to turn around at the next available turn.

"Oh Mio" I said, "would you please trust me. I know exactly where I'm going. Just wait and see sistah friend." Then she started to become frantic when I missed the 4rth recommended u-turn spot. She yelled at me. She called me vulgar names. She told me that if I wouldnt take her advice for directions then I should at least pull over and ask someone. When I laughed at her she told me I smelled like bad tofu. What does bad tofu smell like anyways? Naturally I shrugged her off and told her she was being paranoid but 2 hours later I began to worry. Another hour later I arrived at my destination. I cant be for sure, but I think she spit at me. Seriously, I heard it.

Note to self, do not drive South if your trying to go North.

Mio, I'm sorry. Will you find it in your microchip to forgive me? I promise next time, you can do all the talking. I'm burning my mapquest printouts.