Monday, April 28, 2008

Day 117-Wheres Waldo?

Wheres Waldo?

Lets see. Waldo has been lost for about a week. Omg do you guys hate me? I am so sorry for leaving all 4 of my stalkerazzi's out there to try and find their daily fix of crazy somewhere else. Hopefully you all still love me and can forgive a sistah whos been swamped, puking, cleaning up puke, swamped and cleaning up more puke. Did you know your dogs can get the flu? Um, yeah, so not pretty. I think I've learned what its like to live in hell.

Okay so heres the rundown for a few things that have been going down the last week or so. I went on a field trip with Cheeky. This is the new name I'm gonna use to refer to my 8 year old. We learned about where our steak comes from. Yes, the farmer actually pointed to specific parts of the steer that was standing eating in front of us and correlated it to what goes on the plate. The kids were crying and gagging. I was slobbering all over myself. Hey, I love rare steak. Just wipe its ass and throw it on a plate. If its still moo'ing then pass me a gag ball.

We learned about bugs we can find in the water. Yeah, I'm not swimming in the river anytime soon. Oh, and my favorite part of the ENTIRE trip was when I learned how to identify a hickory nut by the hottest forester worker I have ever seen. I have a new love for all things wood.

Oh and we went to "Headsucking '08". It was a crawdad fest thing. Basically I paid 30 bucks a person to eat some crawdads and watch Spanky get plastered beyond recognition. Thats not a story. The dude drank so much that he puked and laid down in it and refused to get up. He somehow managed to crawl onto the back of his brothers pick-up and when we got home, I left him out there. In the rain. Drunk. No covers. Yeah, slow your role fool. Learn your limit. I still love you though you ass. I cant stay mad at'cha for long.

My sisters and I have also decided that no matter how long we been married. No matter how many kids we have, we will always be D.G.4.L.'s. DIRTY GIRLS 4 LIFE. I had to protect one of my younger sisters from being hit on by all the dorks at what we now refer to as "Redneck Woodstock" so I pretended to be her girlfriend for the night. We called it Redneck Woodstock because it POURED for about an hour and everything was muddy so we were all barefoot. Only my baby sister was pregnant so she totally fit into that cliche. Barefoot and pregnant at the Redneck Woodstock. Lmao-I love you girl!!!

I also learned that I can drink a soda with my boobs. Its the coolest party trick EVER.

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