Thursday, August 28, 2008

I am a widow...

A football widow. Spanky dies every year until he's done coaching. Not only am I a widow but I also have to do all the things that should be "man" work in the house. You know, like taking out the garbage, scratching my butt while getting the mail or peeing on the seat instead of in the toilet. It sucks.

The daily routine is that he leaves for work at 5:30 and I dont actually see him till around 9:30 that night at which time he will probably scarf down his food, get a shower and pass out.

He brought me home something today though. Something that made my hiney tingle. Something that raised my eyebrow. My husband gives me the strangest gifts. If awards were given out for strangest gifts received, I win. Hands down.

I'm not gonna post the photos on this blog of what he lovingly referred to as his stand-in. A friend of his gave it to him today as a joke. Its ironically made of wood LMAO. Anyhow, if I could have loaded real bullets in it, I probably would have shot him with the thing. Then, I'd be a real widow and would HAVE to take out the garbage but I WOULDNT have to wash his undies with doodie stains in the ass of them. Thats a fair trade dontcha think?

You can view my gift here. Do not open in front of your chil'rens.

4 comments:

catdidit said...

*spews!!* Ok, you should have said 'or with a drink in your mouth* roflmao...He only wishes he could compare to a 'stand-in' like that....

Stacy said...

Ohmygawdohmygawdohmygawd!
Where does someone even BUY something like that? HA HA HA. Oh Lord... I hope your MIL doesn't read this today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
And I so want to come to one of your games to listen to the Scottish dad talk. Ha! We are supposed to go to Ireland next summer but I keep saying, "Dinna ya think we ken go to Scotland as well lad?" Hee hee ;)

Anonymous said...

hmm, I'm thinking "splinters"

I'd tell him where he could put that thing!

Cheyenne said...

GAWLY TAMALE!!! That is HILARIOUS!!!