"CRACK MAN"

Convo with my 11 year old.

"Hey mom, guess what."
"Whats that?"
"I had to get a new butt."
"Whys that?"
"Cause my old one had a crack in it."


So, in order for our boys to play football this year we have to buy them ID's from the DMV. My 5 year old thought this meant he could drive and tried to drive home. We only let him drive for a few miles. We value our vehicle. Oh, and our lives.

Anyhow, while we were waiting to be called up to the window the guy next to us was called first. He was a rather large man. I'd say weighing in at about 350lbs easy. He was leaning over the counter conversing with the teller and Spanky started to giggle. He said "look at that guy up there. You can see his crack a little bit.". Sure enough, the valley began to peek. Now, he had an entire family sitting behind him and the dad was trying to lean back so it wasnt so "up in yo'face". The little girls were giggling and that made me giggle. I tried to hold it in, I did. I swear on my Vera Bradley. Now, evertime this guy would shift his weight, his pants would inch downward. Slowly the valley became the Grand Canyon. I kid you not, there was at LEAST 6 inches of crack showing. Okay, I admit I broke out into a full on bar room Julia Roberts laugh. I couldnt help it! Spanky was shushing me but the more he told me to be quiet the more I cracked up. I was not alone though. I heard others giggling too. Our number was called and we had to walk by the info desk and there was a couple standing there giggling and the info girl was too. I said "please tell me if we're being Punked." Well that made the laugh that much harder and finally the "Crack man" as I know call him walked out of the DMV never to know of the wonders that he shared with us that day.

Oh and I think I saw Jimmy Hoffa in there waving from the bottom of the crevasse.