Saturday, July 12, 2008

Day 191-So I thought I had crabs...



Or some type of infestation on my body. Let me explain before I go on to make myself sound like a dirty hobo who never baths except in the month of June and maybe Christmas Eve if they're in a shelter for the night.

Anyhow, I was sitting here getting aquainted with my new totally rad laptop when I felt something tickling my upper arm. I went to bat it away and glanced over and saw that ther was a small black thing with arms moving that I had assumed was a tick. I HATE ticks. I know they all have their place in the circle of life but I dont want to be included in their circle. If they were high school girls, they'd be that girl from the breakfast club with the braces wired across her face and the neckbrace. Remember when she tried to drink the soda? Okay so thats them in the 80's high school social scale.

So, I go to pull it off and take it to the toilet to flush it and I get a closer look. This is not at ALL a tick. I start freaking, but I cant get up because I'm surrounded by laptops and tons of papers I just finished organizing and didnt want to put back together. And Good grief, my dog has bad gas tonight. Lawsy mercy I really think she might be rotting from the inside out. Its just not natural to omit smells like that. If I lit a match, we'd probably explode. Shew.

Anyhow, back to my story. I'm calling for Number 1 to come help me and begging him to get it off and throw it into the toilet and he comes over, looks at my arm, sees this freaking bug and says "i dont see anything mom". Okay his eyes grew to the size of saucers and he's trying to tell me he didnt see anything. He lies, about as well as I do. Finally I get him to bat it away but he bats it onto the front of my shirt. I'm holding my shirt out as far as it will stretch and I get a closer look at it. It has claws. It looks like a miniature crawdad or scorpion. Well that just freaks me out even more because I am just convinced its poisoned me and I'm going to die and with one flick of the hand its crushed. I'm covered in bug carcas. Okay maybe its just a spec but still, somethings guts were on me.

So, I look up this little creature to make sure I havent contracted herpes or dyptheria, cholerah or rocky mounted spotted purple zig zag fever and what not and I find out that its a totally harmless bug. Its not normall seen and I killed it. I felt bad for about 5 seconds and hunted down pics to show you all my trophy squash.

I really do feel bad though. I dont like to hurt harmless bugs. Seriously though folks, does it look scary to you? would you want that crawling on you? hale to the no! its called a psuedoscorpion or something like that. I cant spell tonight. I'm whooped.

peace love spongy cake

1 comment:

Stacy said...

Only you! I would have freaked and squished it too! BTW, my dog has horrible gas too, and he's only 12 weeks old, can't wait to see what life will be like when he's full size!