Day 31-Down, Set, Hut!

Getting ready for the Superbowl? I'm not that excited either. I only watch for the commercials and to gorge myself on some seriously awesome gameday food. Quesadilla's, homemade corndogs and homefries, 7 layer cheese dip and my personal favorite-boneless buffalo wings!

I'm starving now. I cant wait till the gorgefest Sunday!

What are you making???

Peace.Love.Spongy cake.

Day 30-Mended Hearts

A mended heart is a special heart. This is going to be on my sons Valentine to one of his heart docs. She fixed his broken heart almost a year ago. We are so blessed to have her in our lives. Maybe one day I'll tell ya his story. Its a long one though. It lasted 4 years.

Every day is a treasure and every moment blessing.

Seeeeee. I am totally capable of being serious and stuff. I'm not always clowning around haha.

Peace.Love.Spongy cake.

Day 29-Hope

There may be hope for my Chocolate Soldier after all. I have named him Pvt. Hershey. I'm pulling for this guy but as I have said before, my thumb is far from green and pretty much black.

I kill cacti. Is there hope for me and Pvt. Hershey?

Day 28-BIG NEWS!

OH. MY. LANTA.

The New Kids On The Block are coming back ladies! Yes, they are planning a reunion tour! Its fate I tell ya. I had just found all my NKOTB stuff and they announce a reunion.

Its destiny. All of my stars are aligned and I am one with earth and Jupiter. Now I have some serious decisions to make. Do I risk lock-jaw and wear my one NKOTB earring that survived? Should I buy some new white canvas sneakers and puffy paint them? Note to self-must buy rhinestones to bedazzle my jean jacket and jeans.

You seriously have like, no idea how excited I am! I'm oozing "The Right Stuff" from my very soul as I type. I want to be in the front row. I MUST be in the front row. I WILL be in the front row!

I LOVE YOU DONNIE!

Day 27-Isnt he lovely?

I just love making things look old.

Day 26-Music for your soul

*sigh*

I heart him.

Day 25-Double Dare

The pic of the Colbster is my photo of the day. The second photo is what the blog is about. Read at your own risk.

Today I'm going to analyze my sled ride down the hill behind our home. Be prepared for a no holds bared explanation of the events that are unfolding before your eyes. Its extremely compelling stuff. It may even cure cancer.

1. We have the "glider". Whoever developed this sled for a child is out of their mind. I felt like I was going on a luge. I think I'm going to hurl just thinking about it. When I sat down on it, I think I actually heard it giggle wickedly.

2. Notice the maniacal grin of my eldest son? He knows hes sending me to my death and he's laughing hysterically the entire time. He's an evil child. Where did I go wrong. I knew I shouldn't have put raw steak in his formula. I really shouldn't have listened to that strange neighbor of ours.

3. After the little brat shoved me I tried to dig my heels into the snow with hubby's shoes I had on. It would have worked great if there had actually been snow. More about that in number 4. Note to self, hubby's shoes are extremely stinky. Must put odor eaters on grocery list.

4. Here we have the white substance that was once snow however after sliding on it for hours it had turned to pure ice. The entire hill was pretty much a glacier. I think I should have grabbed my climbing pick or whatever they use to climb those big blocks of ice. All I had was a bobby pin. It broke. What can I say, I'm fat.

5. Terror. Delight. My expression is kinda like the Mona Lisa of sledding facial expressions. Even I don't know what my face is saying and its my face. If you squint your left eye I'm having fun but if you close your right eye I'm terror-stricken.

All in all I did survive. That's the important part. I shall live another day to let my 10 year old torture me, wash laundry, wipe hineys and perform surgery on our dog who decided to try and eat another fish hook. What more can a girl ask for?

Day 24-Interview with P

I interviewed my bestfriend the other day. She's a closet OCD neat freak. I like having her in my life because she balances out my OCD filthiness. Its chronic. Its disgusting. Its me.

I will call her "P" to protect the identity of the innocent. Dont believe she is that innocent. I was at Prom with her. I know what you did that summer "P".

Me: "hi P"
P: "hi you"

Me: "hey do you know we just said "PU" HAHA
P: "Your a dork. What do you want I'm cleaning the toilet."

Me: "P, how many times a day do you clean your toilet? Do you think you have a dirty mind and the only way to fix it is by dousing everything with bleach?"
P: "huh?"

Me: "Nevermind. Did you wash laundry yet today?"
P: "You know I wash clothes every morning. When are you coming by to pick yours up. They're folded even though you didnt want me to do it. "

Me: "Your so sweet. Have you ever woken up out of a dead sleep with a need to make the bed your laying in?"
P: "Did you take your meds today?"

Me: "Yes. Have you ever found money in my laundry and kept it?"
P: "You dont have any money idiot."
Me: "Yes I do."
P: "No you dont."
Me: "Yes I do."
P: "Then you better give me back the $20 I loaned you yesterday."
Me: "I cant. You know I'm always broke."

Me: "How many times a day would you say you think about having things in order?"
P: "I dont think about things being out of order ever so all the time I guess and stop turning my knick-knacks around backwards and making my pictures crooked."
Me: "It wasn't me. It was the one armed man."

Me: "They say men touch their belt when they're thinking about something they shouldnt. Do you touch the 409 bottle you keep in your cleaning vest."
P: "Have you seen my Twinkies I had on the counter when you stopped by this morning?"
Me: "Sorry that concludes our interview for the day."
P: "You have them I can smell them on you!"
Me: "No I dont and you cant smell things over the phone anyways. Freak."
P: "Hog"
Me: "Are you making porkchops for dinner? What time should I be there."
P: "This concludes our interview for the day."
(click)

Day 23-MULLET HUNTING

So I was dragged against my will to a "wrastlin" event yesterday. I decided to try to make the best of it and said "what would Jesus do?". Of course I quickly put that thought out of my mind and said to myself that it was time I went hunting. Mullet hunting that is. This haircut has so many wonderful names. The Camaro cut, Kentucky waterfall, the mud flap, the neck warmer and my personal favorite the beaver tail.

This is the most fascinating haircut known to man. I love the whole concept of business in the front and party in the back. It makes my toes tingle. It brings out my inner "wooooohooooo'ing" and makes me want to run out and dig out my acid washed jeans. I am so thankful I kept my AC/DC shirt when were purging.

The variety of mullets was astounding. I saw a few that were spiked on top with a long shaggy back. I saw the feathered version which is almost like a Farrah Faucet version of guys hair. My personal favorite was a dread locked version. It was so rastafarian. It brought out my inner Bob Marley. I think I could actually hear "three little birds" when I was staring at the wearer of this work of art.

Now what I find interesting is that the word "mulet" in french means "mule". Funny right? Yeah I thought so too considering I was surrounded by a bunch of jackasses last night.

Have a spongy cake on me and excuse the poor picture quality. I was refused into the venue because apparently my camera is considered "professional". I was reduced to using my camera phone. *sigh*

Day 22-Everyone Should Own One

Everyone should own one of these way cool thingy-ma-bob-doo-dads.

What?? You dont have one in your front yard? *GASP* But I thought everyone's yard had one of these laying around?
Are you sure? Did you check under your patio chair? Did you look around the flower pot? I thought these came standard with the purchase of a home.

You mean you have never tripped over one of these and fell flat on your face while balancing a 20lb bag of dog food on your shoulder while also carrying a whole bag of last minute Burger King only to have it spill everywhere and have your dog forgo the dog food and inhale the Whopper dinner strewn across the yard right in front of you??

Did you check next to the fence? This is mine. You cant have it. You'll have to get your own. You can look at mine though. Its great. I love it. It, completes me.

Have a spongy cake on me.

Day 21-Blast from the past

My dearest hubby decided we should purge and clean the clutter from our lives. FUN! Just want I waited all weekend for so that i could do it on a Monday. Insert sarcastic eye roll here. We rummaged through old clothes, stuffed animals, goofy outdated shoes and way to much left over baby stuff. There was however a "treasure chest". Yes. My personal footlocker that I have owned since I was 12. It was full of my childhood things and possibly Jimmy Hoffa but it was to messy to really tell. However I did find a few small treasures that I felt were worth sharing. Now, on to the good stuff-the photos of the day.

First up we have the lovely "New Kids On The Block" earring. Only one. I have no clue where the other is. I was going to put it in my ear but it seems to have corroded and I haven't had a booster in forever and lock-jaw isn't something on my "things to do before I die" list. I remember wearing it with a stud of some kind in the other ear. Not to thrilling until you saw the entire matching neon outfit I wore with it. I even had puffy painted canvas shoes that I made myself. I still love you Donnie.

Next we have my personal collection of fanny packs. A neon pink L.A. Gear pack that I won on a radio station and the guy told me I screamed like Mariah Carey. But My prized pack was the stone washed denim with the pink roses. I was the envy of all the little trailer park girls. One girl even offered to give me her glitter hair spray in tradsies. No way. Back off sister. Its my piece of heaven and you cant have it. It like, totally matched my skates with light up wheels.

Last but not least we have the creature that I believe was to be called "baby talk". It was the scariest doll I had ever owned. It would talk when it shouldn't. It would tell me to turn it over when I was holding her upside shaking her. She had a crooked eye that followed me around the room while I was dancing to my NKOTB cassette. In the middle of the night, she would say "I love you mommy". Frightening! And what is up with her hair? Is that some type of polyester hair? I would love to meet the maker of this doll. They owe my 20 years worth of therapy bills.

Day 20-The Plant Killa

Yes folks. This looks like the beginning of the end of my Chocolate Soldier. Its been a love hate relationship for the last few months. I love him and well he hates me. So much that he'd rather wither away. I love plants but I cant seem to keep them alive. I've tried talking to them but I think my breath stinks. I've tried discipline but they dont really like the time out corner. Probably not enough sun. I've tried buying their love with expensive potting soil and designer clay pots but they're fickle. What is a girl to do??

Day 19-New love for Old things

This '68 truck is my favorite thing to take pictures with right now. How cool is that metallic mint green paint? Huh, huh?

Day18-Getting in the car

Okay so we decided to do some sledding behind the house today. Even "I" joined in. Yes, I went down on the kids sled. I think I pulled my pancreas or something. Can I sue myself? Who should I hold liable? If I go bankrupt paying myself, am I essentially making a profit? Depends on how you picture the glass, half full or half empty.

The kicker is, when the hubster tried to help me up all I did was keep sliding because I was stuck to the sled.

Have a spongy cake on me but dont make fun of my outfit. I had on a sweater that I found in the van that has holes chewed all in the arms because I apparently have a rodent of some kind living off of my stale special k bars and sweaters. I have on jeans that are a few sizes to big because I'm on a diet and refuse to purchase new pants until I know I wont have to buy more for a while. Last but not least I have on the hubsters shoes and no socks. I'm a fashion disaster what can I say.

Why sled you ask? Well as my all time favorite movie quote says "Fifty years when your looking back at your life, dont you want to be able to say, you had the guts to get into the car?" Dude, I got in the car.

Day17-ITS SNOWING!! YAY!

Just a few quick snaps before I froze my tush off outside. Its only 33 degrees. I know, thats not very cold to you northerners but its freezing to us!

Day 16-color!

The new "Town and Country". I put a little bit of a Miss.E. twist on it :) Thats alot of color. Yep, Uh huh.

Day15-Suprise!!!

How cool is it that for 2 hours we got a nice sweet little snow fall. It only accumulated to a dusting but it was enough for the Colbster to have fun! I froze my feet off in Crocs. I seriously have to get a pair of winter shoes. I just dont think I can part with my beloveds.

I LOVE MY CROCS! Bury me in the please. All of my Crocs. Just bury me with all my stuff. Just buy the plot next time mine and I'll keep my stuff there.

Have a spongy cake on me.

Day 14-Fresh

This is for you Texas. Sorry I left you unfulfilled yesterday. I tried to make it up to you today.

Day 12-sugar and spice and everything nice

thats NOT what my little girl is made of *wink*

Day 11-Lean on me

and I'll help you carry on.

Day 10-one shoe at a time

No socks, but at least they're on the right feet :) 1 for 2 ain't bad Colbster.

Being STALKED.

Tonight I decided to see if anyone actually reads my blog. Suprisingly there are ppl whos lives are so unfulfilled that they are visiting me. I hope I do you proud in filling in your day with the warm fuzzies on my stories of mishaps and adventures. Im going to give myself a super-secret blogger name. Something cool like the Masked-Typonese Blog Bandit. Or something.

As I was going through all of the 39 clicks (careful ppl, dont spoil me now) I've had on my page today I realized that most of my clicks have come from the same place. I froze. I must have a stalker. Oh no. Have I included to much of my personal life that they might be able to come and find me and steal me away from all these mounds of dirty laundry, dirty fridge shelves and spilling over garbage cans? Dont take me I say. I want to live here in the glory of my home in all its filthiness. What makes you think I would want to run away with you Justin Timberlake(in my mind my stalker is J.T. okay, its my brain i can do what i want) . Your to young for me. Really, please stop kissing my feet. Its embarrasing. For you. I think I kinda like it. Here you missed a toe.

As I was clicking between my blog and my click-counter thingy, my click stats starting going up. Oh no. Justin Timberlake is stalking me RIGHT NOW! Maybe he's on a wireless network laptop and is sitting outside of my house right now. Should I go hide under the bed? Oh no, another click! Please someone help! I WANT TO LIVE IN MY DOMESTIC HAVEN! And then, it hit me. I am my own stalker. Yes folks, those clicks on my counter page were my own. Justin Timberlake is in fact, NOT stalking me. I'm not disappointed not one bit. "sniffle". Nope.

Okay who am I kidding. Its like finding out you are your own Grandpa or something. Gosh is it so hard for God to let Justin Timberlake stalk me???

Day 9-Open your eyes kid

If your going to play baseball you have to see the ball before you hit it.

Day 8-What a L'il beauty!

Thats my best Steve Irwin. Meet Miss Bella. She is my heart. I adore this pup more than any smelly furry creature I have ever owned. Who cares of she crapped under the Christmas tree and chewed a huge hole in a sofa cushion ripping out all the stuffing and strewing all about the house panning into 4 different rooms. She is so darn cute that I dont even mind that she steals every single hairband that I own and likes to chew it and then snap it back and forth between her paws and her nose.

Nope, I dont mind one bit. Do you know why? Are you sure you want to know why? Because of this wittle bitty, teensie weensie face. Who could resist this I tell ya? You'd have to be made of pure vinegar I tell ya. No one likes the taste of bitter.


Have a spongy cake on me :)

Day 7-I hope I dont die....

I raided the fridge this afternoon and thought I found a delectable treat in the form of strawberry cheesecake yogurt. YUM UM UM. Drool with me.

As I was enjoying my guilt free afternoon sin-fest I was reading the label to double check the calories and blah blah blah. Then something caught my eye. I raised an eyebrow as I was reading. I was horrified. I felt like puking all over my dog. My wonderful treat had in fact expired Oct. 2007. No you didnt read that wrong. It expired last year. I hope I dont die.

Day 6-Bullets Over Broadway

Well, not Broadway actually. More like bullets over our over grown garden.
As some of you may know, my Redskins let me down. They tore my heart out and stomped on it with their cleats. How shall I ever go on??? I'll tell you how. An afternoon of shooting firearms!

Day 5-Get'cha Game Face On

Heres mine. Isnt it like "so dope"? I had to run tons of errands before the big game tonight and decided to play with my camera phone. Thank goodness for wide angel lenses! Here's me with 2 of my 3 boys. Arent we gaw-jus!

Wooohoooooo Go REDSKINS!!

P.S. Please excuse my dorkiness but its my blog and I can do what I want.

Day 4- SUPER-BAD

Moonsand. Ah, the wonderful world of Moonsand. Today Colby asked me to take a picture of his Moonsand sculpture and being the awesome mom I am I grabbed the camera right away. The events that unfolded before my eyes have scared me for life. I shall never be the same. the only thing I can do is show you. Seriously.

I have proof that this is all males think about. Here it is, right before your very eyes. Proof.

Day 3-Moonsand

Moonsand is a miracle gift from Santa. My 4 year old played with it for 5, count'em 5 hours straight this afternoon. It was "how you say?-Deee-light"....

I love you Santa. Next year I will leave something really special out for you next to the milk and cookies. Maybe your milk might have a little Russian Flavor to it. wink wink

It is seriously like, "so dope".

Day 2-What do I look like, an Afrophotographer?

Thats what my whiley-eyed 4 year old just said to me courtesy of Scooby Doo. He was actually trying to say "Astrocartographer" but if he wants to grow up to be an afrophotographer he is more than welcome. It would be like "so dope".

I could see it now. A huge gallery at the Cochran right next to the Ansel Adams exhibit where my son-the new Annie Leibovitz, has a showing of nothing but afros. Hmmm. I think we may be on to something. Dont steal my idea. I stole it from my 4 year old. I own all rights to any thoughts that come out of his brain until he's married or on his own.

Oh, and here is my photo of the day. Drum roll please. I have to warn you, its chock-full of too much cuteness so view at your own risk. Theres a chubby preschooler and a furry puppy. You have been warned. If you start ooo'ing and awww'ing and begin lactating dont blame me. I warned you. I did.

Day 1-Save The Aluminum, Save The World

Welcome to my life! Its chaotic, loud and at more times than not EXHAUSTING! I honestly wouldnt want it any other way. I find chaos soothing (insert sarcasm here). I'll be posting 1 photo (maybe more) every single day of 2008. Thats a total of at LEAST 366 photos. Hooray for Leap Year!!

So heres my first photo. Its 2 of my 3 my boys (8yrs and 10 yrs) doing their part to save the world buy crushing our aluminum cans and getting them ready for the recycling center. Its in black and white but I promise the boys are all green at heart :)