Just breathe....

i'm in love

2010-02-12T19:49:00.001-05:00

with my 7D. it rocks my socks. Dyl thinks its pretty sweet too.

new look :)

2010-01-22T10:50:00.003-05:00

New look. New name. Same ol' me :)

Melissa Dawn Photography is NOW Melissa Mullins Photography. After that horrible incident on someone's blog, I was left with negative feelings every time I looked at the name. I want 2010 to be a positive year for me my family:)

So, I changed it :) You can still find me through melissadawnphotography.com. I'll be keeping the domain and its forwarding towards my new site :) I've had the domain for way to long and I still get googled through it.

www.melissamullinsphotography.com
hit it up :) I LOVE the new look and new name :)

P.S. I think i would totally sell the domain name www.melissadawnphotography.com.....for the right price ;)

Omens.

2009-09-29T09:15:00.003-04:00

I believe in omens. I think there is something out there that is bigger than anyone can comprehend. Maybe we're all connected by our fates. Maybe our destinies will intertwine for a few brief moments down our life paths.

Recently at my son's football game I was loading up my camera gear and getting ready to head out onto the field to shoot the game. All of the sudden in VERY uncharacteristic like behavior a Redtailed Hawk swooped near me. Now, this was in a crowded football field with tons of ppl. Why it chose me, with a camera ready in hand to come near is beyond me but it did. I believe its an omen. I'm not sure what the omen is yet but when I know, I'll let you know :)

Peace.love.spongy cake.

i never blog

2009-08-31T11:52:00.003-04:00

i never blog anymore. I feel like i dont have anything really interesting to say lately.
oh. my. god.
I have become boring. its so not fair. when did i become that "boring" girl? maybe i should stop taking the prozac. i think i need a little insanity once in awhile.
I did do something cool last night though. I had a GORGEOUS engagement shoot on skyline drive. It was just AMAZING. I havent been there since I was a kid and its going to be my new spot for site suggestions for e-sessions and families with older kids.
heres a shot from last night.

other than that, theres nothing really new to report. football has started back up and i'm booked with fall sessions. i'm just living. and breathing. i'm not breathing in to deep right now though because spanky switched the dogs food and well, the beagle is ripping some serious gas. if i light a candle to cover it up, we might just explode. i still think shes got some man in her. she is RANK!

peace love and spongy cake!

With a heavy heart....

2009-07-07T09:56:00.003-04:00

Last Oct I wrote a post about my son's kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Heppe. It was a very special post. You can read it here http://melissadawnphotography.blogspot.com/2008/10/i-know-what-hope-looks-like.html

My heart is heavy and I am sad to update that she has passed away and joined our Lord. As, kid-like as it might sound, she was one of those people that I just assumed would live forever. She will though, in our hearts and our actions of compassion towards one another. She will be missed and will always be loved. I pray for her family and her many "babies" as she called them that she taught over the years. The patience and love that she showed my Colby was above and beyond anything I have seen from a teacher. She ate with him for 3 weeks in the cafeteria, at the table sitting next to him and helped him overcome a serious issue with noise, food and smells in that room. I will always be grateful to her and I am so glad that I forced myself to drag my but up to the school on the last day to hand her my personal thank you and hug her for all she had done.

I raise my crayon to you Mrs. Heppe. A true warrior to the end. Battles are lost but the war against cancer will never be over until a cure is found. This is the second person in the last 3 months that we have lost to this ugly disease.

Look at that face....

2009-07-01T10:46:00.001-04:00

He just opened his IPOD touch for his birthday after I buried it into a bag of socks haha. Was priceless!

Let me tell you a story...

2009-06-30T10:23:00.004-04:00

Once upon a time a little boy named Austin's daddy pulled a U-Haul truck up the house he shared with his mommy and filled it with everything he could fit inside of it within an hour. He took their tv, he took the dresser that his clothes were in. He poured Austins clothes all over the floor because it was "his" dresser.
As if that wasnt bad enough, he drove away to live back home with his mom and dad in Louisiana because he wasnt happy being a father or a fiance. He couldnt handle being an adult.

Austin was only 3 or 4 weeks old when his daddy decided to leave. Mommy had no job and his daddy decided that he didnt want to pay for the only transportation that little Austin and his mommy drove around in so he had these bad men come and repossess it. austin and his mommy were really sad because they needed to go see a Dr. that day and austins daddy knew this. Then his daddy called child protective services after he found out the car had been picked up to let them know that he had missed a Drs appt.

Then Austin started to grow out of all his newborn clothes but his daddy wouldnt give any money to him or his mommy. Instead he bought himself and his girlfriend each a $300 cell phone. He couldnt give any money to Austin because you see, he had money troubles.

Then Austin's daddy decided that he wanted him to live with him so he went to court to ask a judge if he could have him. Now Austins mommy has to put her 8 month old baby on a plane to see his evil daddy every 3 months for a 10 day visit.

Austin doesnt want to leave his mommy and you would think that his daddy would understand because his daddy cant stand to be away from his mommy either but his evil daddy just laughed and said "GOD was good!".

Poor little Austin. Its a sad world for him. Maybe the devil is working here and not GOD. I wonder if thats ever been taking into consideration for little Austin. Maybe little Austins daddy is really an evil demon from the depths of hell. I mean, isnt it always the demons in disguise that claim to love GOD's will the most? What if it isnt GOD's will at all? What if its Lucifer's that won and has this baby flying across country for 10 days at a time every 3 months.

That doesnt sound like it would be something GOD would want for a child now does it?

"Save a whale, harpoon a fat chick!" excerpt

2009-05-30T14:45:00.004-04:00

after careful consideration. I'm gonna post it. enjoy my mental anguish. oh, remember that is a rough draft. there are tons of grammatical and punctuation errors. Just roll with it. rock with it. lean with it.

Do you know when Lisa will be out? he asked. I couldnt tell him that I was Lisa. I couldnt let him know that the voice on the other end of the 2 hour phone calls every night was me. I looked to the left. No where to run. The school sidewalks were packed with kids scurrying to their busses happy to go finally go home. I looked down at my feet. I really needed a new pair of tennies. My pink laces were turning an unpleasant shade of brown. I was only allowed one pair of shoes at the begining of school. I might have gotten lucky and recieved a pair of 2 sizes to big middle aged women's dress shoes but that was a rare occurance. Sharing didnt go far in the household I lived in these days.

"Um, I dont see her right now. I think she said she had to stay after. Something about telling Mr. Robb that he needed to stop leaning over her desk because his dandruff was falling onto her paper."

He laughed. "That is so cool! I have always wanted to say that to that dude. Well, whatever. " he reached into his pocket and pulled out a letter.
"Can you make sure she gets this?"
I smiled. "totally." i said.
He walked off and shrugged a later at me. I loved the way his hair swung when he walked. I loved the way he threw his bookbag onto his shoulder. I even loved the huge zit on his face. But, He didnt love me. He loved Lisa. I was Lisa but not the Lisa he knew. She was cool and daring. She didnt care what anyone thought of her. And, she was hot. I, was not. I was introverted. I wore big thick brown and blue rimmed glasses free from the Lions club. I was also fat. I think that if I was all of those things BUT fat, I would have had a shot. Fat really is the justification for any and all reasons not to like someone.
"Oh, shes nice but shes fat. Well, he has nice eyes but he's fat." See, if you add fat as the reason you dont like someone no one questions it. Its acceptable.

I dragged myself to my bus. I hated riding the bus. There was always someone who would try to make you feel repulsive and undesirable. I tried to sit as close the front as I could. I usually had a better chance at being left alone. On this particular day, the front seats were of course taken and I had waited so long for Sean that I had to double up on a seat with someone. Thankfully it was Cathy. She was my only friend on the bus. She was quiet like me and always smiled when I sat down near her.

Hey Lisa she said with a bright smile. I saved you a seat.
Thanks i said relieved as I smiled back.
"Where you waiting on Sean again?"
"Yeah. He gave me a letter this time. " I fanned myself with it as if it wasnt a big deal. Um, it was a huge deal.
"did you tell him yet?"
"NO WAY!" I could feel my heart starting to speed up and my face getting hot. "You cant say anything either! You promised!"
"Im not! Sheesh. I was just asking. I just think You should tell him. I dont think he would care."
"Oh he'll care. They always care." I rolled my eyes.
Just then, Lonnie turned around in the seat in front of us and snatched the letter out of my hand. He was the meaniest kid on the bus. I hated him with every bone in my body but he sure was hot. I hated his insides but I loved to look at the outsides. I was such a hypocrit. I got mad at people for loving my insides but hating my outsides and here I was doing the opposite with a total jerk who had my, I mean, Lisa's letter.
"give that back Lonnie! Its not yours!"
"Well well, what have we got here. it looks like a love letter of some kind and it appears to be addressed to Lisa. hey isnt your name lisa? You mean you found someone who likes tubbies like you? Oh this I have got to read. "
"hey everyone! Lisa got a love letter!" hahaha he laughed. The entire bus started errupting in laughter too. I wanted to crawl under the seat and die. I knew what was coming. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. He was going to read it to the whole bus.
I saw my sister sitting a few seats behind me with her popular friends. She gave me a look as if to kill. She hated me when we were on the bus. She refused to sit with me and acted as if she didnt know me most of the time. I couldnt blame her really. I would pretend not to know me too.
"Hey Baby," he read. He looked at me and grinned. "whats up? Not much here. I was just wanting to know if you would go with me to the 7th grade dance next week. I know its late notice but I really want to go with you. I want to see your tight bod in a mini skirt. Maybe we can do that thing that you said you would do in your last letter.
thats all for now,
KIT,
Sean"
I-wanted-to-die. I seriously just wanted to die. "Please god, I begged, if you kill me now I will never ever ever ask for anything ever again and I will even let
my sister have my stereo and all of my tapes. I promise that I will do good angel things and be the best angel ever. Please, just let me die."
the bus was so quiet that it was erie. Then, there was an erruption of laughter so hard that the windows vibrated. I looked back and even my sister was
laughing. she had tears in her eyes and I knew it wasnt from feeling bad from me. It was from laughing so hard.
"Okay who is Sean and why to God does he think YOU have a tight bod" Lonnie tried to catch is breath from laughing so hard.

the issue of the day

2009-05-29T18:17:00.003-04:00

so i have a problem. my book. the problem is that if i write really honest things people may be hurt. i dont want to leave them outbecause its part of why i am the way i am and who i have become. i dont know what to do. how important is it for me to get it all out? whydoes it have to be so hard!

Well....

2009-05-26T11:28:00.003-04:00

such a deep subject for such a shallow mind. lmaoo Ever heard that joke before? yeah, probably not lol

Sooooooo. We went camping over the weekend. I shot a wedding friday that I got home from at 11p and got to bed finally around 1am. We were up at 4am. boooooooo for early starts!

the actual camping was alot of fun since this time we got the camp in Grandads front yard haha. Full access to the potty! My kinda ruffing it thats for sure! We had to take the girls (dogs) this time but they had alot of fun being out and about. The only thing that freaked them out was the horses. Theres like 15 there that run around sniffing and snotting on you. Blech. I love horses but from a distance. They're way to big for me to be close up with. Well, I can handle 1 or 2 at a time but more than that and i'm freaking out as seen by many people last weekend. they all got a hoot and a hollar out of seeing me run. Yep, the fat girl ran. it wasn't pretty. I'm lucky to still be alive. I'll suffer with the black eyes from the bounce of the chest bowling balls but tis all good.

On our last night, i may have taken ambien. I may not have gone to be right away. I may have pushed spanky and his brother out of their chairs in an attempt at "cow tipping". I may have hit my head off a tree branch and decided to become a monkey and swing myself from limb to limb back to my seat. I may have been sharing embarrassing GYN stories with my soon to be sister in law. I might even have showed everyone my way cool sound making ability.

I may have. I'm not really saying one way or another. With ambien your really not in control of yourself and your really not actually in your right mind so I can claim plausable denial. I'm sticking with it.

do you like seafood??

2009-05-14T08:42:00.003-04:00

You do? Well then, SEE-FOOD LMAO

I took this yesterday during our field trip to visit a working dairy farm. Of course, being in a farm town theres not much for the kids to do locally besides see each others farms. Actually this farm is a bit unique because there are only a handful of working dairy farms in our state of VA. We have to have a lot of our milk shipped in from PA and MD.

I think its kinda odd because I have to say, I went to school with quite a few Heifers in my day. Myself included haha.

Check check check check-check it out!

2009-05-08T22:49:00.003-04:00

http://www.blossomphotos.com/

Welcome to BLOSSOM!

Things are a changin'.

2009-05-06T21:19:00.002-04:00

Just a hint of things to come :)

I'm so excited about this!!

things taught to me by my 6 year old.

2009-05-06T10:31:00.003-04:00

Yes. He is wise beyond his years. Sometimes, he schools me in the most peculiar of subjects.

From him, I have learned that my 11 year old's weenie now has a mustache.

I have learned that the jar of diaper cream should go in the fridge because its "whip cream for you's nuts".

And most importantly I have learned that when you tell him to make sure the doors are not locked in the van before he closes the door-this is kid speak for "hey, lets lock both sets of keys in the van so we dont have to go to school."

I'm on to him. I am. I'm hip to his wiley ways.

Kickin' it old school.

2009-04-29T08:55:00.006-04:00

lets take it back shall we? To a time when cotton panties, crocs and Feria hair dye were all non existent. Ew gross a bug just flew into my screen. That is gonna stain. Anyhow, I'm talking about a time when things were simple. Food was scarce and Native Americans were picking you off one by one for invading a land that didnt belong to you because you were arrogant and believed that just because the English hadnt set up shop there, well then, it must not be civIlized. I'm talking the jamestown settlement. Lots of history, good and bad. I know I am here today because of them but it was just so sad to see the things that brought about our presence in America.

I did take some pics though :) Enjoy a look into the Jamestown settlement here in Va :)

Frea-kay Friday

2009-04-24T08:16:00.005-04:00

I know he loves me. How do I know he loves me? Because he lets me do things to him that other men would consider, hmmmm, demeaning? But not my Spanky. No, he proves his love for me in all sorts of ways.

Yesterday, he decided that he wanted a haircut. He asked me to do it but I grumbled and he took it upon himself to go outside and try to shave it on his own. This only resulted in patches of bald spots combined with areas overgrown bushes scattered around his head. I fixed him up and before I sent him on his way I threw out that age old question that every man dreads to hear. "Do you love me?"
"Yessssssss" he sighed.
Prove I said to him. Let me put my initial in your chest hair.
Okay he shrugged.
I began my new found artistic outlet and low and behold I transformed my seemingly normal Spanky into an instant super hero. You see he is a mechanic and well, the "M" for Missy just wasn't what it was supposed to stand for.

Prepare yourselves lady and gents for I present to you, SUPER MECHANIC!

Able to change oil in a single flick of the wrist. Able to rebuild your transmission in meer seconds and do all those other things mechanics do (like jacking up your bill while they just sit on their rumps and play games on their cell phones) in just a few short blinks of the eye.

I took this picture yesterdy and said "Show me your grrrrr face."
This my friends is Super Mechanic's grrrrrr face.

P.S. I'd like to thank my extremely good natured husband who I love with all the beats of my heart for letting me do this to him and take the picture for proof. I dont think I'd replace him with the most hottest version of Justin Timberlake. Well, at least not for a few more years. *wink,wink*

Peace.Love.Strawberry shortcake.

Of these few things I am sure...

2009-04-22T19:08:00.002-04:00

1. That you should always test the paint out on your walls before you buy 3 gallons of it.

2. Freezing fresh strawberries does NOT mean they will be the same when you thaw them.

3. Diet Dr. Pepper should be added to the daily nutrition list.

4. Never pull a toy gun out of your purse and lay it down on the counter while standing at the teller window inside the bank looking for your checkbook and drivers license. You will probably be okay if it has the orange on the tip but if not your screwed.

Of these 4 things, I am absolutely sure.

Thats not my name.

2009-04-17T12:19:00.002-04:00

I have a new earworm. I LOVE the quirkiness of this song. Its so fun! Listen and enjoy. Listen with an open mind. its catchy :)

I think I've been called "Hell" and "her" before but I think that was probably used in context like "Oh what the hell?. Her again?"

Its a beautiful world...

2009-04-16T11:46:00.002-04:00

It really is. I mean, I try to look at everything with an open mind. I see the leaves on a tree as hair for them. Some, like the weeping willows, have long luxurious tresses. When the wind blows the cascades of leafy hair dance to and fro reminding the pine trees that their pixie do's will never sway back and forth. Of course, then the pine tree gets to blow razzberries at the willow because they get brought inside during Christmas and are adorned with decorations and celebrated. Then the willow reminds the pine tree that after the new year they get tossed out with the garbage and sometimes burned with the brush piles. And so, the sibling rivalry lives on.

I have no idea what I'm talking about today. Its been tough with Granny's passing. I feel creatively tapped. I'm an emotionless zombie lately. I think i held in the hurt of losing her for so long when I was taking care of her that when she passed, I was just drained. I cried but not like I should have. Would she have wanted that though? Nah. I need to get it back though. What good is a photographer with no creative vision? I have 2 full day weddings next month. I'm shaking with fear because I know they want that something "special" added to their photography. I just hope that I'm out of this funk to make sure I deliver on it.

Anyhow, yesterday was our 9th wedding anniversary. Yippee! I got no burn barrel like last year. This year, he spent the entire day with me, cleaned the house from top to bottom, let me take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon and then cooked me a full course dinner. This huge dinner was after he took me to an awesome seafood lunch including stuffed shrimp and crab legs. It really was a great day. For his gift, I let him tattoo a small butterfly on my wrist. Its a very light purple. I'll take a pic and show it to yall soon. I want it to heal up first :)

Now the best part of the day was desert. I picked out this awesome strawberry shortcake with cream cheese filling and cool whip icing. It was TO DIE FOR. It seriously doesnt get anymore sinful than this people. I could hear the pounds growing on my thighs but I did not care one bit. You only live once right? Yep. You only live once.

peace.love.strawberry shortcake. (still none for you though loser)

I'm just not that into you...

2009-04-08T19:04:00.003-04:00

Thats right Mr. Justin Timberlake. I'm just not that into you. You know I just cant get up and leave my family. They need me. Whats that? You want me to fly away to Italy with you? Now you know that its my day to do laundry. It just wouldnt be fair to leave my Spanky doing ALL the work. I know that he mostly just passes out in his broke down recliner that is missing most of the leather on the bottom because my dog likes to lick it. She thinks its candy. I most certainly cant leave him alone with the children because even though they are old enough to care for themselves, they might like, try to calk to him while he's fixated on his new Playstation game. He needs his alone time too. its jjust not fair to do that to him.

No. I like it here. I just cant be your one and only. I'm flattered. Really, I am.

I'm just not that into you.

P.S.-Call me later!

He's always been "different".

2009-03-31T22:53:00.004-04:00

He has. He has always been different from other children. He came into the world like a whirlwind. He had lungs that made the other babies around him cry. When he was around 7 or 8 months old, he would get hurt and cry until he physically passed out. I've had to preform CPR on him twice. He is a puker. He would get upset and would vomit. He has food aversions. He cant handle crowds and certain smells. He is my baby.

He was also diagnosed today with Autism. Wow. Its so hard and liberating to say that. We have an answer for his quirky behavior. it makes sense though. I mean, I've seen things and had a feeling all along. A mother knows, ya know? You can feel it when your child is sick with them sleeping in another room. You just know.

Anyhow, it feels good to have answers. It feels good to know that there is a plan to move forward with helping him. It is such a relief. We'll make it through this just like we've made it through everything else. One step at a time.

Just Breathe.

Yay for me and a wedding pic..

2009-03-22T18:58:00.004-04:00

I am so happy with my self. I couldnt be more tickled pink than if you dressed me in a pink dress and hosed me down in pepto bismol. I have managed to maintain my desk for a week. Yep folks. I have kept it tidy. I have put back things into their rightful places AFTER I have used them. I have dusted. I have replaced the table lamp with an actual desk lap andddddddddddddddd I am getting ready to hang up a huge dry erase board and corkboard tiles to further help my stay in the "organized" population. I need a pat on the back or a tickle on the but or something. I'll take pics tomorrow of my success.

Anyhow, I photographed a wedding yesterday for a few hours for the sweetest couple I have met in a long time. They met on.......wait for it...wait for it.....MATCH.COM!! How freaking cool is that? Its a total success story. I was very happy for them. Now. their wedding took place in my home county. I have lived here my entire life and yet, somehow even with a GPS system, I got freaking lost!! I was 15 minutes late which is totally embarrasing in the first place. I then had to go up 3 countem 3 flights of stairs to get to the bride for a few before shots. All i have to say is thank GOD i have been walking a mile almost every day.

I forgot to post this yesterday.

2009-03-18T10:49:00.003-04:00

Look at my little leprechaun! Is he not the cutest, squeeziest cheeky thing you have ever seen? He got off the bus wearing this and ran over to me giggling. I just love the lai beard. I might have to grow one myself.

~Organized Choas At Its Finest~

2009-03-16T22:15:00.004-04:00

Yep. That, my friends, is what I now have. Ugh, something just got stuck under my "w" key. Dontcha just hate that? You push and push and nothing shows up on the screen. You have a moment of panic because you remember that you were on a "not so nice site" a few days ago and probably picked up a virus. You start sweating because there is NO freaking way that you can take your laptop to be checked out because you were checking out some questionable material that makes you gag now just thinking about it. But, you had to see it because EVERYONE and literally their grandmothers have been talking about this repulsive piece of video. But then you realize that its just a seed from your sesame seed sub roll from lunch and your world is returned to its ol' warm and fuzzy self. No? Just me? Yeah right, dont lie. Okay well forget I EVER said anything. it was just a scenario. Just something to make your gears grind in your thinker.

Oh, back to my reason for posting. I have finally organized my desk. I bought lots of storage stuff and holders and sharpeners and bras and file folders to get myself into the swing of things. I am so excited about my new found tidiness. EVERYTHING has a place. Its a tight squeeze but I have a pretty good amount of room to do all my stuff. I utilize my wall for posting reminders and i think I should look for some corkboard before my wall ends up looking like an Mexican drug lord house in the barrios. Sorry for that reference. I have been watching all 4 seasons of "WEEDS" from showtime. Best freaking show ever. I know what I'm gonna be doing if this picture gig doesnt pan out. Kidding. I'm so kidding. I dont have the overhead to start up that kind of business and I sure dont have the client base. Hmmm, or do i? Ya never know.

Anyhow. heres the before and after pics of my desk. Soak it up and take it all in. I am so proud of myself and I KNOW Sue'p will be too :)
BEFORE:

And after:

This literally only took me like, 24 hours. Rock on me!

dear lord.

2009-03-15T22:29:00.002-04:00

I'm organizing my desk. I've bought tons of organization stuff from the store in an attempt to save myself from myself. I started 7 hours ago and I am only halfway done. If you dont hear from me by Monday evening, send in the troops.

Missy's Quote of the Week:

2009-03-09T18:27:00.002-04:00

"Gimme some jelly 'cause I'm on a roll!!"

Art, You dont know how much I love you.

2009-03-06T21:14:00.000-05:00

6 years down and twelve more to go.

2009-03-03T22:00:00.003-05:00

Yep. Thats how many years I have until my youngest child is 18 and off to college. I can hear freedom calling me. Its saying, "dont worry. 12 more years and you can join me for traveling with no worries about babysitters, nights out with curfews, no report cards, no PTA meetings (GAG), no school shoppping and NO struggling to make science projects! I've gotten an A for the last 3 years on my projects. I rule.

Yeah, I'll miss it when its all said and done. A little. A teeny tiny bit. Okay, I"ll cry like a baby but I am sure that I can nurse myself back to a great mood with malibu sunsets served in first class while flying over to Santarini.

In the meanwhile, I'll be doing the same thing only, it will be dreaming in my chair and probably drinking a parrot bay and I'll most likely have the kids standing over me and spraying me lightly with a water bottle while I pretend its ocean spray hitting my face. I'm going to make a headband with my huge conch shells that i have so that i can have ocean surround sound. I'll make tuna fish so that I can have the fishy ocean smell floating all around me. Yep, I've got it all worked out.

Oh, before I forget, Colby turned 6 sunday. it wanst my proudest mommy moment because i was down with the flu and i couldnt even go birthday shopping. My awesome mother in law came to my rescue and really filled in where I couldnt and Spanky did a great job with picking out the presents. The only thing we forgot was the candles so my mother in law decided that her emergency candles would have to do. Worked for me. Colby had the biggest candles on the block with his cake. He always has to do things differently. Our world wouldnt be the same if he did though. We love the quirkiness of our daily lives. Its never boring and theres always something new to learn about each other.

I love ya Jeannie. I dont know where I'd be without you. thanks so much for all the help with "Cobly" last weekend :) I'll make it up to you on mothers day. Just dont ask for anything expensive and I am NOT touching your feet. I know. I'll return all your bowls and silverware and pots and pans I have. Wait, then I wont have anything to cook with. hmmmm.decisions decisions.

Hows this for precious?

2009-02-24T14:26:00.003-05:00

Cant you just smell the newness on these little sweethearts? They make my uterus hurt. Then I remember that they cry every 2 hours to be fed, need their hineys wiped all the time, need to be burped and require round the clock care. Wait a second, I do all that crap now with my grown kids. Hmmm. I think something is amiss here.

Anyhow, these are twins of very good friends of ours. I couldn't be more thrilled for mom and dad. Holding two little miracles in my hands was amazing.

Speaking of miracles, Colby is going to be singing with the entire kindergarten tonight at school in the CAFETERIA! I am so excited! this is such a big step for him with all of his sensory issues. I'll post pics tomorrow. I cant wait to see him tonight!!

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!

2009-02-20T13:45:00.004-05:00

Another post just for you.

Do you seriously think you'll make a better parent? Do you seriously think that you can strap the baby on your hip and drag that poor kid all around Mardi Gras while your throwing beads up in the windows trying to get girls to flash you their boobs? Oh yeah, your a role model alright.

"No job. No transportation. I want full custody." he says. This is the response when asked why he'd make a better parent. Um, wheres the L.O.V.E? I'll tell you where. its down your pants because you dont care about anyone but yourself and your internet porn. You have a sickness. Its called selfishness. You ran back home to your Mommee and now you want your Mom-ee to raise your "maybe" son. I know your not gonna do it because you have the mental capacity of a 12 year old in the middle of an adult book store. Do you really want your "maybe" son to be just like daddy? I'd want better things for him then to be raise by the parents that you call "old" and how much that you worry because you know they dont have much time left.

Why doesnt she have transportation? Because when you left and took everything in one afternoon you called to have her car repossessed and had her only means of communication, a cell phone, shut off too. Then you went out and bought a $400 phone for you and your girlfriend and gave her my sisters old account. Um, yeah, your such a better person than her.

Its nice to know that you still wanted to see a baby that you dont even think is yours though. Yeah, I'll give you credit for trying to play father of the year. What the hell is wrong that you all of the sudden hate Ginger? Dude, you begged her to let her in your "family" picture! She said no but oh no, you were worried she would be sad if you didnt include her. Your so fake. Your so sad.

Like I said, dont worry though because me and spanky have been sending money to make sure that YOUR maybe baby has pampers on his behind and clothes the fit him because you refuse to send her a dime. I'm proud to call me and my husband the babies Psuedo-daddy. I know the only reason you want him is so you dont have to pay for him. its not cause you love him and htats evident on the questionaire you filled out and the paternity test you requested. What? No drug test request now? Feeling guilty maybe? Oh no, thats called feeling HIGH!

Like I said, good bye to you. I'm so done. I wouldn't spit on you if you were in the desert dying of thirst and your hair was on fire. You have hurt my family one to many times. I've tried and tried to see both sides but your side, your side is selfish, vindictive and plain evil.

Its okay though Shrek. My sister is not your Fiona. Shes much to beautiful for that but I'm so happy that you found someone who can be your Fiona.

peave.love.spongy cake. (but no slice for you, loser)

She's so graceul.

2009-02-20T11:25:00.008-05:00

My girl has such poise. She should have been born a ballerina instead of a Pomeranian dontcha think?

Sometimes she still gets the stink eye from the ugly stepsister.

Okay I know you are all out there going "how can you be so mean to that wittle face?" Well I will tell you. That little face ate 3 fish hooks, my laptop cord AND didnt even say thank you for the electrocution she got from it. Sometimes when you see her walking she will all of the sudden kick a leg out and twitch it a bit. I think there may be damage.

Anyhow, the reason I love Bella more is because shes just so beautiful. I mean look at that profile. Look how perfect she is. She's so majestic with her ski slope nose.

Its not just her nose. Its her sense of style. Look how well she handles the 80's hair band hair. I seriuosly see a jon bon jovi thing going on here.

And look. this shows how she wears the Farrah wings beautifully. Go on girl witcha bad self! Work those wings. Fly away little doggie!

And her lashes. Just look at those beautiful long lashes. Sigh, they make my uterus all achy.

And the feathery tail. I swear, when the wind blows it just right I feel like I'm watching clouds float right on by me. And then she usually farts but I never said she had manners.

So thats why I love her more. Oh, I'd like to apologize to Donna who's ankle was nearly shredded when she walked to close to me and didnt announce her presence to my 8lbs body guard. She was just having a bad day. She had a few (whispers) dingle berries building up in the back. I had to cut them off. its not my favorite after school activity thats for sure.

TOTAL DIY'ER :)

2009-02-17T13:57:00.004-05:00

thats "do it yourselfer" for those not familiar with the title :)

this is yarn I made and a hat i made with the yarn that i made. geez there sure were alot of "made's" in that sentence. Can ya keep up? I dont think I can.

I have an answer!

2009-02-06T22:43:00.005-05:00

I have severe sleep apnea. For those of you that dont know, I stop breathing in my sleep. Not just once or twice.I do this enough to make my oxygen levels drop to the low 80's. Around 95% is the lowest they'd like to see.

Finally I have an answer to all my medical problems from weight gain to headaches to high blood pressure and the recent high cholesterol. I FINALLY HAVE AN ANSWER! It feels so good to know that I'm not lazy. I really honestly just didnt have the physical energy to do anything. All I wanted to do was sleep but my sleep was horrible. The insomnia is from my body trying not to go to sleep because it didnt want to have to struggle for air.

My tech described it as being in water and diving. You hold your breath until you need to come up for air. Now the problem is that my body was doing this for 6-7 hours straight. I'm suffocating myself slowly to death. Scary.

I have to go back tomorrow and get fitted for a CPAP. Its a machine that will help keep my airway open while I sleep. I cant wait to feel good!!

However, I do believe I scared my poor tech away. He had to try and strap me with an elastic band across the bust area and I didnt have on a bra. He started to stretch it across me and I said, you better let me do this. These girls arent tied down and they're liable to knock you out if you get to close and they dont know you. He turned so red and laughed but I was serious. If my girls aren't locked up in their cages there's no telling what damage they might do to unwanted attention.

on my way.

2009-02-05T19:00:00.002-05:00

Okay. Heres the 411 on the sitch at hand. I am off to sleep. No seriously, I am.

The doc said "excersise" at our appt today. I have high tryglycerides or whatever. Its 201 which is bad. I have to like, give up, fried chicken, french fries, fried everything. I hate hate hate it.

I have to put my trusticles in my Doc and myself though. For those of you that dont know, trusticles is the balls to put your trust into something.

Trusticles-cool new word of the day :)

SO I'M A MEDICAL MESS.

2009-02-04T17:51:00.003-05:00

I got a call this afternoon from a bippity boppity nurse at my Dr's office.
"Mrs. Mullins, we have recieved your blood tests back and the Doctor would like to speak with you about your Cholesterol levels and a few other findings on the tests."
"Um, thanks? Can I get a shot of Jack to ease my mind for this wonderful little bit of information that you have delivered to me?"
"Excuse me Mrs. Mullins?"
"Nevermind" I growled and hung up the phone.

And then to top it all off, I have to go have a sleep study tomorrow night to make sure I'm not fighting for me life on the odd chance that I might actually fall asleep during the night. Have you seen what these people look like getting ready for a sleep study. I'll be sure to take a picture. it wont be pretty. what If i pick my nose in my sleep or fart all night long?

What do you think she found in my blood? I'm hoping for sparklers and glitter because I'm just that fabulous.

For you Judy...

2009-01-30T23:05:00.002-05:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 10 Confessions about you. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I am not a natural platnium blonde. As if you couldnt tell from my 2 inches of dark blonde roots peeking through.

2. I think fat people should get special discounts. I am fat so i can say that. I dont care what kind of discounts, just help a sistah out!

3. I hate water. Water sucks.

4. I love soda. I only drink soda. Oh and coffee if it has lots of vanilla flavoring in it.

5. Cow juice is gross. I'm not drinking anything from a titty. I'm not in diapers anymore.

6. I craft therefore I am.

7. I photograph therefore I am.

8. I have a fear of balloons and all things that pop. I will seriously run away crying if you touch me with a balloon. My children cant even have them at their birthday parties. Seriously. its that bad.

9. My house is a disaster. I clean and clean and they destroy, destory. *sigh*

10. I think back hair is sexy.

ONE OF MY HEARTS..

2009-01-21T13:04:00.001-05:00

I'm infected.

2009-01-21T11:48:00.002-05:00

I have an earworm. It totally sucks because its bore straight to my brain. Its this song.

Someone please turn it off before I have to perform a lobotomy on myself. I like the song but I keep hearing " my my my my boogie shoes" overrrr and overrrrr and overrrrr. Just put on the freaking shoes for cripes sake. Boogie with whoever it is you want to boogie with. Just do it outside of my head and far away.

My kids think I have lost my mind. I'll be deep in thought and look up at them and go "my my my my boogies sho-essssssss".

Theres a cure right? For earworms? I'll try and see if I can rotate the infection with another song that way I can have at least 3 or 4 different strains going.

W.O.W.

2009-01-19T12:12:00.004-05:00

This, is my desk. I was coming to sit down today to get to work and took a good hard look around for the first time in weeks. I was kinda shocked at my messiness but not to much because I am by nature a "clutterer". I dont want to say sloppy because thats not what I am. I have a tendency to let things clutter together. I get them out and dont put them away. Or I get them out and plan on using them in the next day or so and I forget about the project and move on to something else within eyesight that I had forgotten was there.

The bottom line is that I need HELP. I have no clue how I concentrate on anything with all of this around me but I do. IF nothing is around me I feel naked and me naked is illegal in 49 of the states. Oh I've organized it. Several times but it just keeps happening over and over. I have 2 lamps on my desk. 1 of them has a blown bulb so I stole a living room lamp and put it on the printer beacuse if it sits to low I dont get enough light to see. YARN. I have YARN everywhere. I work on projects while I'm running batch actions that can take forever with wedding shots.

I just need, something. help? little help here? anyone? One of the first things that needs to go is that GOD awful nascar hood that Spanky put up. My walls are covered in notes, pictures, daily affirmations and other tidbits that i dont want to lose.

Help. Lil help here?

So I have a new look

2009-01-18T20:58:00.002-05:00

I changed the colors of the blog. Those frilly little blogosphere backgrounds are NOT me. I'm solids with a bit of accent coloring. I am not frilly. They're the Katie Couric to my Walter Cronkite.

I'll work on a new picture thingy that goes at the top but I cant right now so your stuck with that new title. Its words to live by really. Just breathe. Oh, and try not to step in anything on your way out. I smell dog doodie but I havent found it yet.

I miss blogging...

2009-01-15T14:13:00.003-05:00

I do. I miss it. I havent done it lately because I feel like I have pretty much said everything. Although, I feel like something big is coming. I dont know what it is but something is coming. You ever get that feeling? You know something great is about to happen but you have no clue what it is and your totally excited when it does but the getting there to experience it is torture?

Its like your buzzing. Electricity is running through every inch of or your body. Its like being one of those electric fences and you can hear the buzzing and feel the buzzing and if anyone touches you, you'll get shocked. Oh crap wait, thats just static electricity and it happens everytime I get out of the van.

dont mind this post

2009-01-13T13:01:00.003-05:00

i'm trying to show pics to someone for something :)

The start of a brand new year.

2009-01-09T18:36:00.007-05:00

I didnt make any new years resolutions this year. I'm all about self-esteem and since I am the "self" in the equation, I felt it would be better not to let myself down or put pressure on my "self". All in all, I think its gonna be a good plan. I'm just gonna sit back and be amazed at the things I do everyday because I didnt expect myself to do anything. Every accomplishment like waking up, brushing my teeth and going to the bathroom, will be a reason to celebrate.

I mean seriously, everyone who said they were going to lose weight has probably already cheated. People who said they were gonna spend more time with their family has probably booked themselves solid and I'm sure its not extra weekends with the kids.

Anyhow. We decided to spend the night at Spanky's cousins house for New Years Eve. It was alot of fun. It probably would have been even more fun if I wasnt sick for the umpteenth time this year but I made do with a couple Bacardi's.

We sang, we played Rockband 2. See pic of Spanky and his cousins below. My baby has such a Mick Jagger essence about him doesnt he.

I watched one of Spanky's cousins girlfriends drink herself to puking. "Come do some shots with me Missy" she smiled. "No, thats okay, I dont want to puke." She waved me off and sure enough an hour later, the girl was praying to the porcelain god.This is her below.

I think the highlight of my night was watching Spanky lift his shirt and rub his belly onto his cousin J.R. It was disturbing and intriguing all at the same time.

Then, after ringing in the new year our air mattress went flat and we had to sleep on the hard wood floor. I got some great pictures though.

its all about the memories though right? Yay-memories.
I also have a drinking story of Spanky's Aunts to share with you. Click on the pictures to make them bigger so you can read the words. A and S. I love you. Hey your initials together almost spell "ass" lmao

my shop is up

2009-01-07T15:02:00.004-05:00

I have finally launched my Etsy shop. It features my much requested ipod/iphone cozies. They also fit other cell phones as well. I can put my "razr" in there with no problem :)

Right now its just a trial run. I have so much stuff going on right now with editing proofs and stuff that I couldn't stock it chalk full.

So without further ado, here is my shop address. Put a little coziness into your life :)

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6713505

You think you know someone...This is for "YOU".

2009-01-03T19:33:00.003-05:00

And the "you" in my subject line knows who they are.

I guess I am just gullible. I really really liked you. I thought you were the one. I feel taken advantage of and you really had me snowed with your words. My children accepted you and would ask when you were coming back as soon as you walked out of the door. My husband accepted you and he NEVER likes anyone but he called you a friend. We welcomed you as part of the family hoping that one day it would be made official. The ring came and then a baby and we couldn't have been happier.

Its so sad to be used like that. I am a person. I have feelings. You stole hope from me. You stole it and stomped on it right in front of me as if it was nothing. I never said a bad word about you. Not once did blame ever get placed your way.

How foolish am I? So, I am saying goodbye to you which is more than you offered us.

Goodbye.

CHRISTMAS DAY :)

2008-12-30T13:02:00.006-05:00

Nate crooning on vocals while grams plays rockband at her house!! that game is so much fun!

Hows about a mexican red knee tarantula for christmas?!

He was so happy to get his ipod touch that he literally fell down. It was a christmas classic!

Creepy little robotic spider! What was Santa thinking??

Wii fun at gram's :)

EUREKA!

2008-12-30T12:39:00.002-05:00

i fixed it :)

now its just too cute for words :)

someone stop me.

2008-12-29T23:12:00.004-05:00

i need help. take away my crochet hooks before i become more than just a happy hooker. I designed this strawberry iphone/ipod case today. it is so freaking cute in person. the seeds need some work though. this is just my prototype.

i made these :)

2008-12-29T12:15:00.005-05:00

for ipod touch/iphones. How cute are they??

Say what you need to say....but I really dont know what to say.

2008-12-20T21:35:00.003-05:00

Today, or tonight I should say, I did some last minute grocery shopping while the boys were driving my mother in law crazy at her house. I was excited to get to escape from all the chaos that comes with raising 3 men. It took me 3 times to park my van straight in the parking place. After 2 years, I still can't park it. I'm used to my compact neon I drove for almost 10 years. I loved Miss Bertha Blue. Thats what I named her. Man the stories that little car could tell. heeheehee.

Anyhow, after standing in line for 30 minutes I drove to Burger King. I was starved and there was no way I could wait until I got home to eat. I'm a growing girl. I need my sustenance. After I placed my order I drove around to the first paying window and was surprised to see a girl I went to school with working the money window. I recognized her right off the bat and I know she knew who I was but she didnt say anything. I didnt want to embarrass her so I didnt make en effort to converse with her. I'm not saying there is anything at all wrong with working at fast food. I know people who have worked long and hard and built an entire career in the industry. I was just shocked to see this particular girl to end up in this particular choice of employment. But I have to say in this economic times, its lucky to even have a paying job at all.

She was one of "those" girls. I was jealous of her not because she was beautiful. I mean she was okay but she was on the chubby side and she was pretty average looking. I was jealous because she just seemed to have a great home life. Her parents were still married in high school. She worked after school at her moms office. She got a nice car our sophomore year. She has quite a few friends. I wanted her life. I wanted that and I didnt have it. And then it was just so sad to see her so haggard at 30 and working somewhere that I KNOW shes overqualified for.

Then, last week, I saw a friend of ours in the store and she told me how the church adopted her family so that her kids could have Christmas presents. She told me that she has been getting groceries from the food bank since her husband was laied off in September. She said that she was waiting for their electric to be cut off cause they owe over $700 to the power company.

I turned the corner to see another friend who told me about her recent seperation from her husband who left at Thanksgiving. She's having a tough time and depressed and all I could do was offer her shoulder to cry on. I didnt know what to say. What do you say to someone going through this?

I felt so lucky. So lucky to be who I am. I felt wealthy. Not wealthy in the "i have loads of money" sense but in the sense that I have a lot of good things to be grateful for in my life. I was lucky because I was able to give my kids the exact presents that they asked for this year without having to sacrifice a few bills or cut back on groceries to do it. We worked our butts off to be able to do it but we did it.

I really hope everyone has a great holiday. I wish I could visit every single one of you and personally hand you a card myself. I wish I could buy all those kids who wont get something from Santa, a gift. I wish I could feed all the hungry people in the world. I wish so many many things. I wish for good things for every single one of you.

Peace.Love.and Spongy cake.

DEAR GOD,

2008-12-18T23:37:00.002-05:00

Dear GOD,

Please help me to keep from harming myself or the kids during their upcoming 17 DAY CHRISTMAS BREAK. Thanks so much for not causing it to snow causing a few snow days sprinkled here and there. No. Now they can have one HUGE break with me! All at one time. With me. Please help me to keep my cool when they're arguing over the last oreo and fighting over the same game deck. I promise that I will not put the children in the garbage for Monday and Friday pick up.

I know that children are a blessing and that sometimes blessings come with a 5 year old who has been sitting on the toilet for 2 hours because he had a "messy one" and decided to wait until it "just dried up" or mysteriously disappearing Dr Peppers that will inevitably get up and decide to drink themselves and leave their empty selves sitting on the counter instead of going into the trash can. And I know that given the chance the dog would probably have painted a bullseye on her butt anyhow.

I also know that I will probably never get the last of anything to eat in the house because I'm sure the boys will have 2 and 3 am gorge-fests. But thats okay. Its important for them to be strong.

AMEN.

i am in love....

2008-12-12T18:10:00.002-05:00

i am. I am totally in love with Santa. I want to love him and kiss him and hold him for hours. Why? Because he loves me ya sillies!

He brought me an IPOD TOUCH! early of course because i am an impatient person and he knows that about me after 30 years of delivering my loot. I think i might leave him a little something special under the tree this year next to the cookies. Perhaps a few of Granny's SPECIAL rum balls? Those are the rum balls that get doused with half a bottle of rum AFTER they're baked. As granny says, "what good is eating alcohol flavored goodies if you dont get the buzz?"

I totally agree granny!

MUAH Santa!

I have a confession...

2008-12-02T14:55:00.003-05:00

I used to make cheesy slide shows. I did and I LOVED it! One slide show that I particularly loved was called "THE POOL RULES". We were cleaning and filling up our pool and my brother in law took it upon himself to provide me with hours and hours of endless belly laughing video. When I am having a really bad day, I like to watch this video. I am so sorry Jason for throwing this out there on the internet but it has to be shared. This is one of my greatest works of art. I have to share it with the world. Just remember that no one does the soapy slide like you do!

So go pop some popcorn or "hot-porn" as my 5 year old calls it. Grab some tea or vodka-whatever you need to get you through the day and watch one of my first works of art.

Be sure to take special note of how my brother in law uses my children's bodies to scrub the bottom of the algae and mildew infested pool bottom. I am so happy that he taught me a new use for my kids!

Why I love being an Auntie....

2008-12-02T14:30:00.002-05:00

more animals

I love being an auntie because I can love that little boy, and hug and squeeze him till he pukes all over the place and then, I can hand him back to his mom. Being an Auntie is the best thing in the world because you get to be the fun one! You get to take them out and stuff them to the gills with candy, be their friends when they're parents are mad at them and hand them back to their mom's when they have poopie drawers.
Its so great to get to be the fun one for a change! I hope you have LOTS more babies Teen. I am so excited to spoil them all!!!

IS IT WRONG???

2008-11-29T23:46:00.001-05:00

For cracking up every single time I see this video? I shouldn't laugh. I really really shouldn't but I cant help it. Poor grape lady!

i am pissed.

2008-11-28T21:03:00.002-05:00

i am just so pissed off right now. I really truly just want to rip off this persons face, cut it up into little bits, fry it and then feed it to them. I am so sick of shady people. People who have NO respect for others. People who no matter how much you do and do for them, will some come up behind you and push you down. They're toxic people. They are people will smile to your face and kiss your husband behind your back. They are people who will smile to your face and talk about how big your ass is when you walk away.

I am just pissed. I am mad and pissed and mad and just well, freaking mad.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

Thats my scream for the moment. Breathe in. Exhale. Breathe in. Exhale. The breathing techniques didnt work. I am still pissed.

I almost died in a tornado once......

2008-11-25T15:31:00.002-05:00

I was in a tornado once. Well, not inside flying around Dorothy style BUT it did go by and I think I saw her wave.

Back to my story. I had decided that I needed to go to Walmart and I really didnt care that there was a storm coming. I even took my 3 month old baby with me. You see, when a girls gotta shop, not even a tornado can stop her. So, on the way to Walmart I heard a severe weather warning come over the radio followed quickly by a tornado watch. This means that conditions were "favorable" for a tornado but no funnels had been spotted yet. I was golden so I gathered up my baby and headed for some much needed stress releasing shopping.

I was piling my cart full of diapers, wipes and other necessities that I hated having to spend money on when over the PA system came a warning.
"Could everyone in the store please meet in the electronic department. There is a CODE BLACK."
Code black? What the hell is a code black? I thought it was some super secret special and they were gonna start giving away from DVD's or something. Hot dawg I hit the jackpot. And who says shopping during a tornado doesnt pay off. It turns out that a CODE BLACK is the sign that we're all gonna die so they wanted us all in the middle of the store together so they could keep better track of the bodies or something.
So here I am in the electronics department and everyones whispering about tornados coming our way and then hail starts pelting the tin roof of the store. It was LOUD. Then there was some banging. The baby started to cry so I picked him up and started to daze out. I was scared but I was more annoyed that very possibly the last thing I would see in my life was a 30" Zenith flying straight at my head. Death by television would have a whole new meaning.

Anyhow, I survived. No damage was done but I still have a hard time looking at a Zenith TV without having flashbacks and wanting to dive into a bathtub and cover myself with a mattress. I have issues.

LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!!

2008-11-18T12:40:00.002-05:00

I am so sorry to have been MIA for so long. (I really like that new MIA song by the way) but anyhow. I made a little stop motion animation movie with some shots i took on Sunday of the kids playing on the trampoline with their "Ant Soup". Her name is Sue but the kids call her SOUP. haha its so funny. Shes just one of those fun loving people who will get on that trampoline with the kids and bounce herself silly.

So, heres to you Ant Soup. May the bounce be with you wherever you go :)

MISSY'S QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

2008-11-10T09:35:00.004-05:00

Missy: "I may be the only girl in this house but I am FAR from a princess and I WILL kick ALL of your asses."

Missys Quote Of The Week....

2008-11-09T23:07:00.003-05:00

Missy: "I may the only girl in this house but I am FAR from a princess and I WILL kick ALL of your asses."

Peace, Love and Fluffy Stuff..

2008-11-07T22:31:00.003-05:00

I am gearing up for an unbelievably busy weekend folks. I have a wedding at 11am which is about an hour and a 1/2 away and right after that I will drive an hour and a half back home to go to Spanky and Number 2's Championship football game. Then bright and early on Sunday, I'll start shooting Mini Holiday Sessions.

No rest for the weary eh?

Do you see what I see?

2008-11-05T13:19:00.003-05:00

I spend hours and hours a day sitting at my desk proofing photos, surfing the net and learning how to make belts out of cardboard toilet paper rolls. My desk is my home away from home. Which is actually kind of strange to say because my office space is inside my home. I only have to walk like .00001 of a mile to get to my office. I know, I am VERY lucky.

I decided to make the wall in front of me pretty. I decorated it with affirmations and reminders of who I am and how much I need to believe in myself. I'm gonna share a pic of it with y'all. I took it with my celly so please excuse the bad quality. I have all kinds of little sayings there including a check from the universe for $50k. I'm still waiting to collect that one. I think I might have to send it to collections and have them harassed by debt collectors.

I may not be rich "yet" but I do believe that I am wealthy. I have healthy happy boys, a husband who loves me and hot food on my table every night.

Yes folks. I am a wealthy, wealthy lady.

The worst blogger ever....

2008-11-03T09:43:00.003-05:00

I am. I am seriously the worst blogger ever. I got emails from ALL these wonderful people telling me how much they love my blog and then I leave them hanging. No posts for how long? Almost a week. You can all spank me if you want. I deserve it. I have neglected you all.

So lets see. What have I been up to?

Well, we went to a birthday party on Saturday where I told a very gullible man that I was Mary and my husband was my son Jesus. I told him he could read all about our lives in this really cool book called the Holy Bible. I am probably going to hell. I dont think they'll even give me the ride in the hand basket for that one. That same day I cheered for my oldest son at his football game and spelled "Redskins" with my body. Well actually I only got as far as "R-E-D" because fat girls bodies dont bend into the s shape very well. We still end up looking like a lumpy "I".

Oh my happy moment for the weekend was when I went into the Don Jons at the football fields and there was ALCOHOL WASH FOR YOUR HANDS!! We're lucky if these things have TP in them let alone hand sanitizer. Its the little things that make me happy. Hand sanitizer, warm socks on a cold night, my kid wiping his own butt, my husband wiping his own butt and not making train tracks in his drawers. You know, the little things :)

Austin....

2008-10-29T15:52:00.002-04:00

Sigh...I have no words..I am totally smitten...

taking it back...

2008-10-23T18:20:00.003-04:00

Remember when cartoons were cute and sweet? Remember when it was fun to watch them on Saturday mornings? Kids these days have it way to easy. They dont know what it means to anticipate anything. The just expect everything right then and there.
I loved Disney Silly Symphony cartoons. They were my favvvvvvvvvvvorite. I'm gonna share one with ya. Its called "Little Hiawatha". When I see these old time favorites pop up on the kids Disney channel I run in there to watch it with them. I'm so sick of seeing nothing but the Sprouse twins and Mily Cyrus on that channel. BRING BACK THE CARTOONS MAN! ITS LIKE WATCHING MTV AND NOT SEEING ANY MUSIC VIDEOS which is a total other pet peeve of mine but thats another story.

I know what hope looks like...

2008-10-17T09:47:00.004-04:00

I know what hope looks like. I do. I have seen what it looks like. It was shown to me yesterday through the heart of group of boys. They painted a pink ribbon on the field next to their Tiger paw. They sported a pink strip going down their helmets and a pink stripe on their jersey. On the field they held their helmets high and carried a banner to bring awareness to breast cancer. After the coin toss, each boy gave her a pink carnation.

Their honorary captain for the day was Mrs. Heppe. She is a breast cancer survivor herself and my 5 year old's kindergarten teacher. I have never in my life met a more kinder soul than that of Mrs. Heppe. I am honored to have her teaching another one of my boys. When I send him to school in the morning, I know that he is in the best and most kindest hands possible.

So this post is for Mrs. Heppe. The face I see when I think of HOPE.

SHUSH IT!

2008-10-16T09:55:00.003-04:00

I am NOT one of those moms that will brag and brag about their kids. I mean, don't get me wrong I am very proud of all 3 of my boys but I think that there limit about how much you can brag about your children to other people. Everyone knows one of those parents right? Yeah, you know who I'm talking about and if you don't well then, your probably one of them. Me? I'm just happy when my kids put the toilet seat up before peeing. What can I say? I have low standards.

I have put together a small list for you to compare yourself too in case you have no idea if you are or not. These are actual situations that I have been in. If you are one of these people dont worry, there is help for you. We have rehab programs out there for you. You have to listen to other parents go on and on about their kids and your not allowed to say a word.

If you brag about how great of an artist your 3 year old is and how he can draw like professional artist but all the while your kid is sticking his crayons up his nose-then shush it.

If you brag about how your 4 year old is reading at a 3rd grade level and your friend looks over and sees your kid ripping pages out of his 3rd grade level book and eating them-then shush it.

If you brag about how your 2 year old has the extensive vocabulary of a 5 year old but all your kid really says 24-7 to everyone is "bitch"-then shush it.

And finally if you brag about your kid doing all these things above but is STILL on a bottle at the age of 4, not only will your kid have major issues later on life but you seriously need to shush it.

Now, having said all that here is my mommy brag for the week hahahaha. Its a legitimate brag though. I mean its not one of those "Awww look! He picked his nose but he did "not" eat it this time" kinda brags. My oldest son was inducted into the Babe Ruth Baseball Leagues "Best players of 2008" all-star book that will go into both of the National Hall of Fame libraries and archives. I have to submit a picture and I think this is the one I'm going to choose. He has his catchers mask and bat in this picture. What do you think? They want a black and white.

THANKS MOM AND DAD...

2008-10-15T09:17:00.003-04:00

Thanks mom and dad for having nothing better to do during that winter of '78. I sure do appreciate it.

So, I am a 30 year old woman. I was having trouble but I'm actually okay with it now. See, here's the thing. When I see someone that has known me for ever (ants, uncles and stuff) and tell them how old I am, they cant believe how old they have gotten. Then, I feel rather young haha. Its mean I know its wrong but dude seriously, sometimes ya just gotta have that pick me up.

Lets be honest people. When you see someone that you haven't seen in 10 years and their ass is a little worse for wear. They're boobs are a little saggy and they really didnt do anything to their hair that day. You say to yourself, wow, I'm glad I didnt let myself go like that. Right? Yeah, don't lie.

Anyhow, today I'm taking it back on the blog. I'm playing one of my favorite songs from my youth. Enjoy it groupies! You know you still bobbin' your head to this beat!!
You can thank me later ladies. I know he still gives me "good vibrations". haha

To whom it may concern...

2008-10-13T09:09:00.002-04:00

To whom it may concern,

I promise to never EVER complain about getting older again. I will rejoice in the fact that I have another year under my belt and another year to have watched my three boys grow to become men. I know that if I believe, positive things will come my way. Also, please pray for our dear friend who told us this weekend that he was diagnosed and has been battling Leukemia. A father of 2. A husband. A son. This man drug himself out to watch his son play football and his daughter cheer while wearing a surgical mask and coming from chemo.

I'll never complain about my children making to much noise giving me a headache. I'll never again complain that my husband asked me to make him something to eat after 9p because he suddenly had a case of the munchies.

I'll not complain again about life. I'll live it and love it and find beauty in it every day.

With Love,
Missy

I meet a dragon...

2008-10-10T17:14:00.003-04:00

My cousin recently got married. I photographed his wedding. I was fine while I was photographing it but when I got into the car to leave I bawled like a baby. I was so thankful that someone would put up with his spoiled ass. Haha Just kidding TJ if your reading this. You know I love you. Actually I cried because he's gotten so much older and that in turn means that I am getting older. Blech.

I'm dealing with turning 30 next week. What will make me super duper happy is if I get a dragon like the one TJ and Christina had at their wedding. I want my very own dragon. I'd pet it and feed it and love it allllllllll the day.

I guess Spanky may be upset if I tried to bring it into the bed considering the dragon comes complete with 2 little Chinese men.

Have a nice day :)

2008-10-07T11:06:00.003-04:00

I'm still trying to get myself out of a rut this week. Do I look stressed to you? Are my eyes a little too stressed out looking?

hmmmmm, I need a few cucumbers for my peepers..

I'm going to hell....(another "save a whale! harpoon a fat chick!" excerpt

2008-10-05T01:30:00.001-04:00

I used to try and find friends that were bigger than me. I wanted to feel like the skinny girl when I stood by them. It was wrong but I couldnt help it. Sometimes I needed to feel like the skinny girl. My best friend in junior high school was the "ugly girl". She was the girl that no one else would be seen with. She was overweight and had really bad hair. She wasnt a looker by any means but God she was sweet. I can honestly say that she was the sweetest most forgiving human being I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. She would forgive me for things that I didnt deserve to be forgiven for. I admittedly used her to make myself feel better about who I was. I wanted to make it up to her and one afternoon in my bedroom I discovered how.

The smell of stale spoiling pizza floated out from under my bed as we flipped the page of one of my photo albums.
"do you ever clean out from under your bed?" lisa asked

"No. I leave it under there so the dog wont get hungry. You know my moms not big on grocery shopping for humans let alone the animals." I leaned over and lifted the skirt of my daybed.

"Whew! That is rank. I dont think thats edible for anything anymore." I pinched my nose and made gagging noises at her.
"Stop it!" she giggled at me.

"Oh my." She sighed. "Who is this?" She pointed to a picture of my cousin Ben. It was a picture that he had sent home from his stint in the navy. He was sporting the classic sailor suit. I thought he was the hottest thing ever and cursed my mother for making me born into a family where he was my cousin.

"That's Ben." I sighed. "I used to date him but my mom made me break up with him when he joined the Navy."

"But your only 14." she said.

"Um, yeah and he's 22. Age is nothing but a number dork. When you love someone it doesnt matter how old they are."

"I'm gonna ask Lily." she eyed me suspiciously. Lily was my younger sister and the mouth of our family. You couldnt tell her a secret because her destiny in life was to blab it to everyone within earshot. She'd rat me out for sure.

"Alright," I groaned. "Its my cousin. He's been back in the states for a while now though. He's not in the Navy anymore."

She touched his face. A light bulb flashed on in my brain. She loved him. She wanted to marry him. She wanted to have his babies.A plan started forming in my brain. I admit, it wasnt the greatest plan but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

"Ya know" I said slyly. "He's not dating anyone".
She giggled and shoved me. "Your crazy. He'd never go after me."
"How do you know? I happen to know for a fact he likes heavy girls."
She smiled at me and looked hopeful. "Your lying."
"Nuh-uh and you know what? I think you should write him a letter. I'll see him this weekend at our Thanksgiving dinner."
"What am I gonna say? Hey your hot. I heard you like fat girls so here I am?"
"Perfect! he likes a girl straight to the point."

She wrote the letter. My plan to make lisa feel loved was working out wonderfully and she was happy all the time. I didnt have the heart to tell her that I was the one writing the letters to her from my cousin. She truly believed that they were in love and going to get married and live happily ever after. The love fest between Lisa Ben and me went on for a few months. I had to break up with her when her letters started asking if she could ride the "bologna pony". She was crushed but I was relieved. I couldnt take one more day of hearing about her and Ben. I wanted to scream at her and tell her everything but I knew she would never have anything else to do with me and I would be out of having my very own fat friend.

On a more serious note....

2008-10-01T14:11:00.004-04:00

WOMEN.SISTERS.DAUGHTERS.MOTHERS.

Our right to vote as women is fairly new to this country. We were given our first vote in 1909. 1909. 99 years. Approx. 36,100 days-give or take a few. I use the term "given" loosely considering what our sisters had to do in order for us to have the right to stand beside our husbands at the polls. They were beaten. Jailed. Starved.

Sometimes we get too wrapped up in our own lives to remember what was sacrificed for us to be able to live the way we do today. We're accepted alongside male doctors and lawyers and other professions as colleagues. As equals.

I was raised to always remember where you came from. Never forget the people that gave up things in order for you to succeed.

Lets not forget our sisters of the Women's Suffrage Movement. Register to vote and then go out and do it!

Pic-o-the-day

2008-09-29T17:31:00.003-04:00

Well it cant very well be a photo blog with no photo right? I'm working on some "300" type processing for football photos. I'm not really sure if i'm digging it though

all i have to say today is this....

2008-09-29T09:01:00.004-04:00

More from "Save a whale, harpoon a fat chick!"

2008-09-26T23:04:00.005-04:00

Oh my God. Am I really going to do this. What do I do with the ton of lycra on my thighs and butt? I cant let him put his hands on my thighs and feel the jingle-guard granny panties. Think. think. Think. The bathroom! That's it! I'll push him off of me and say I have to pee.
He was so hungry for me. His kisses were like attatcks on my lips and his hands were starting to roam towards my waist. Panic mode set in. I took a deep breath and shoved him off as hard as I could.
"Am I going to fast? I'm so sorry." He looked so confused. I felt sorry for him. He was genuinely concerned for my readiness. He on the other hand was pitching a tent that could have housed an entire barrack of soldiers and there were no concerns on my end about his readiness.
"Everything is fine, I just have to go to the bathroom." I smiled and acted as shy as I could. I wanted to embarrass him into not asking anymore questions. I have found that anything to do with the female anatomy doing anything other than fornication was an instant lock-jawed subject with teenage boys.
"Oh, ok. Its through that door next to the closet." He pointed.
I jumped up from the bed and plowed through the door. I turned around and leaned against it to catch my breath. I stripped off the girdle as fast as I could. It was more like a coat of armor for my butt and thighs. It sucked in everything. I was still chubby when I wore it, but at least nothing jiggled when I walked.

I didnt want to throw it in the garbage can and I couldnt flush it.
I know! I thought. Under the sink! That way, it'll still be there when I come back to freshen up. "I am a freaking genius" I beamed to myself. I went to grab for the cabinet but there was some sort of lock on the knob. It connected to the side. I pulled hard and it finally popped off. I hastily tossed my girdle in and shut the cabinet door but not before I caught a whiff of the sweet sour smell of ass and sweat coming from it. When did I last wash thing thing? I honestly couldnt remember. The lock was now broken and the door wouldnt close all the way. Well, i'll just come in here before he does i said to myself.

I opened the bathroom door slowly and started over to the bed. He was laying on his back with his arms folded and his hands under his head. The only thing he had on was his white tube socks. I gasped and turned my head shyly away as I ran over to the bed. He didnt say a word as I laid down beside him. He rolled over on top of me, cupped my chin in his hand and kissed me deeply. I closed my eyes and drank in his scent. It was a mixture of maleness, earth and ass? What in the world? My eyes flew open as something wet and cold nudged my cheek. A little cry escaped my throat. We both looked over and saw his Black Lab Jeb's head resting on the edge of the bed with my girdle in his mouth. Now I know why those childproof locks were on the cabinet under his sink.

Ya dont say?

2008-09-24T16:16:00.001-04:00

Colby: "Mom, I cant eat this pizza anymore."
Me: "Why not hun?"
Colby: "Because every time I cough the pecker-ronies get stuck in my throat and choke me."
Me: "Well ya dont say son."

The strangest thing I have ever done...

2008-09-22T22:43:00.003-04:00

I do some weird stuff. I always have. I eat weird stuff. I have a strange flavor palette. I for one think Brussels sprouts are awesome. I love to eat snickers and nacho cheese doritos together. At the same time.

I have officially reached my highest weirdness factor tonight. I have NO shampoo. None. Not even a drop for the kids. The stiffed me and even put water in their shampoo bottle and sucked out the very last drop of glycerin. So I'm in the shower, and decided to use a bar of soap for my hair. I start rubbing it in and its just not working. My hair is way to thick and it hurt rubbing it into my scalp. I thought about using the Axe bodywash but I have an appointment in the morning with my 5 year olds school. You see, I didnt want to have the office ladies or the principals falling all over themselves to get to me. I mean seriously, I have stuff to do tomorrow.

So I look around and what do I see-puppy shampoo. Yes! I can use this! I mean its safe for puppies and its even tear free. I lather up my head and was smiling at myself for my quick thinking and then I get a whiff. I smelled wet dog. Well hello Fido. I poured the strongest smelling conditioner I could find on my head to hopefully water down the smell. I really hope I don't smell like a dog when I go into the school tomorrow. When I got out of the shower, I didnt know if I should even use the towel or just shake myself dry. I opted for the towel-this time.

Hiney Tingling Ice Cream.

2008-09-21T22:47:00.003-04:00

The best ice cream ever is called "Birthday Cake". It is vanilla ice cream mixed with little bits of white cake with sprinkles and blue icing. It makes my hiney tingle just thinking about it.

If you can find it, your one lucky person. Go forth and find Birthday Cake Ice cream!!

Football football..who's got the football..

2008-09-18T23:09:00.007-04:00

Just a short post with a few shots from Number 1's Middle School football game. He's 21. He got to play linebacker (woohooo) and he even got a tackle. You can see the soles of his cleats in the pic of the pile of boys. The big ol'Nike thumbs up haha YAY. *\o/* (this is my cheerleader) rah rah rah, sis boom bah!

My new favorite show.

2008-09-17T09:15:00.005-04:00

Sigh, I just dont know where to begin. I have a strange obsession. Its vampires. I blame the Twilight book series. Its not that I want to dress up in black and drink blood. However, in my dreams I would love to be married to one hahaha.

Well, thats where this show comes in. TrueBlood http://www.hbo.com/trueblood/ Its the new show on HBO based on the Southern Vampire Mystery book series and it is AWESOME. Its a grown-up show. You cant watch this with your chil'rens.

This was a post by an online friend who summed it up better than I could:

"Hot vampire from another era madly in love with human woman? Check. Vampire is Obsessive and powerful? Check. Girl has special power? Check. Other vampires threaten girl? Check. Sex? errrrr...ok, I did say adult"-AJ

Now go forth and watch my little fang lovers.

For you Kitty...

2008-09-15T10:49:00.000-04:00

Yum um ummmmmmmmmmmm

Random thought post of the week.....

2008-09-15T10:22:00.003-04:00

Zits hurt really bad when they're on that cartilage between your nostrils.

Another excerpt from "Save the whales! Harpoon a fat chick!"

2008-09-11T16:24:00.001-04:00

She turned me around to face the mirror. I threw up a little in the back of my throat.
She had fitted me in a deep purple jacket 3 sizes to large for my frame. She believed that if you were considered overweight, then you should hide it with even bigger clothing. The purple color washed out my complexion and ended up bringing out the dark circles under my eyes. My lips were an awful shade of purple and it matched my all too purple eye shadow. I looked like a corpse who was attending the wedding of Beetlejuice.
She reached towards the sink and grabbed a set huge purple porcelain circle earrings sitting in a dish. The rims were painted in metallic gold with gold polka dots painted all over them.
"The earrings are over sized but they're supposed to be" she said. "They're going to make your face appear thinner."
What if tried hanging them from my hips. Would it make my stomach appear thinner too?
"Will it draw attention away from my face?" I asked hopeful.
"And just why would we want to draw attention away from your makeup? I cant believe how well it turned out. Purple is definitely your color." she beamed.
"Oh God!" I screamed inside. "I look like a 12 year old schoolmarm hooker."

MY LIFE IS OVER!!

2008-09-09T17:01:00.003-04:00

My life is over. Time has officially left my side. Its left me stranded in grown up land. I found something last night. Something to awful for me to even say. I cant tell you but I have to.

I found a man hair under my chin. There I said it. I FOUND A MAN HAIR ON MY CHIN!!

What does this mean? Am I suddenly going to start sprouting chest hair and back hair too? Oh please say it isnt so. Does this mean that I have to walk around spitting loogies and chugging beer while scratching my ass? If I ever do these things and then sniff my fingers please shoot me. Just put this old dog down.

The worst part is that it wasnt just one man hair. It was cluster of them. About 4 all crowded together giggling at me and pointing and smirking. I plucked them. That'll teach them to show up in the land of woman. Yeah, Yeah! Chigga-chigga-what-what!!

I say bring it on man hair. I got a new set of revlon tweezers and by golly I know how to use them.

If these start coming out of my nose or ears, please shoot me over that too.

see me now?

2008-09-08T16:37:00.004-04:00

My new self portrait for my website. I've needed one for a VERY long time. I'm tired of everyone trying to figure who the crazy lady flagging them down and running with a ton of camera's hanging around her neck is their photographer. See with this portrait, I can hide beside a building and just peek around the corner. Hopefully they'll spot me. Or, I could just walk with one side of my face to the parking lots of doors at all times. hmmm. decisions decisions.

Oh and I would like to add that even though I may have portraitured myself, i have on NO MAKEUP!

MAN! You smell like Phys Ed!!

2008-09-06T23:49:00.004-04:00

I promised shots of me camping. This is the best I could do. I dont like anyone to touch my camera. However, I think I saw Spanky's cousin fondling my 70-200 lens. I cant say for sure. I hope shes not traumatized for life now.

ALMOST....

2008-09-05T21:55:00.002-04:00

So close Cheyenne!!

However it was made out of pork and chicken by-products lmao

oh and this is what made him wake up in the first place...

Guys are so stupid :P

Who shot JR?

2008-09-05T08:38:00.004-04:00

Meet J.R.

This handsome devil is Spanky's cousin. He's a world traveler. He likes long walks in the park and holding hands under the stars. If I were to put out a personal ad for dear JR it would probably be this: "Minimalist seeks woman." He likes the simple things. Food,water and shelter. Oh and the occasional Dukes of Hazard get together.

Now, Spanky and the rest of his cousins like to use JR as the butt of most their jokes. Exhibit A.See the picture above? See the dazed and confused look on the poor guys face? What do you think is on the other side of this picture?

Well I could tell ya but then I'd have to kill ya. If you think you know the answer comment on it...I might post the other half if anyone guesses it :) This capture was well worth the price that I might get out of it when I blackmail him with it.

Love you JR!!

Why I love this baby...

2008-09-03T08:21:00.004-04:00

Meet Caitlyn.

I dont love her because of those gi-normously squishy cheeks. I dont love her because she has no fear of my camera and still cracks up in the sweetest smile for me to take a "peek-chur" of. I dont even love her because she is just so freaking adorable that it makes my milk bags try to lactate and wish my belly started to swell. Oh wait, it did swell but that's only cause I had way to many gas inducing fried tomatoes over the weekend. My milk bags are still dry though.

No the reason that I love this little girl is because I can love all over her, spoil her rotten and carry her around for hours without putting down the little "sack-o-taters" and at the end of the day, I can give her back to her parents :)

Good to be back and a lesson in horseback breaking...

2008-09-01T19:48:00.008-04:00

Ahhh. I'm sitting in my comfy chair. I'm sipping ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper and getting ready to watch an all new Prison Break on Tv. Sigh, I love Wentworth Miller. I loved him way back when he was on one of my most favoritest vampire movies "Underworld: Evolution". Sorry all you late Went lovers. He's mine and you cant have it. I saw him first.

Speaking of guys. I'll be posting this week about things that happened while we were on our camping trip over the long weekend. Here's a little scene right before we left. Meet self-named "Big-Daddy" Matt. He is a new rider of horses who decided that he needed to learn how to ride on a horse thats never been ridden. Works for me. I'm all about education.

Here we have a few little conversations I overheard while snapping these pics.

"Hey big daddy matt!
We have a great idea! We need someone to break in this horse thats never been ridden. We were gonna do it ourselves but we thought it would be more fun for someone who's never done it before to do it for us instead. What can we say, its boring out here in Deliverance land."

"Dont worry Big Daddy Matt. This horse is the sweetest out of the bunch. She has a personality like my favorite actress Joan Crawford.

Sue, I know I'm new at this but wasn't Joan Crawford an alcoholic sociopath?
Dont worry Big Daddy Matt!! Just make sure when you get on her you blow kisses at her, promise her scotch on the rocks and call her Mommy Dearest. Oh and I have great news! I just saved a load of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!!

Huh?!?

Now, after all that bellyaching and worrying about something as small in life as breaking his neck, Big Daddy Matt's horse Breezy was as sweet as pie to this green rider.

See Big Daddy Matt? You crapped your pants for nothing. I'm glad I didnt have to ride home with you.

Goodbye My Lovelies!!

2008-08-29T23:27:00.002-04:00

I'm leavin' on a jet plane...la la la..

Just kidding. I'm leaving though. Just not on anything cool like a plane. More like, a minivan full of fighting boys with smelly feet and stinky gas. I swear, riding anywhere with them for more than 2 hours is like trying to survive in a "dutch-oven", if you catch my drift.

Lets see, I cleaned the fish, fed the birds, packed the girls (my furballs) favorite toys and pillows. I have my penis gun and Spanky has his titty mug so I think we're good to go. If your all good while I'm away, I'll show you the infamous "titty mug" given to him when he was 18 from his grandfather. From what I've heard its been passed down from one horny old man to another for as long as they've been in America.

I'm so sad that a "titty mug" and "penis gun" are going to be our legacy to our kids.

Oh, this time I PROMISE pics of me. Camping. Having "fun" in the "wild". Running from horses. Stuffing myself silly with smores. I'll probably pee on my feet again but I wont take pictures of that. Maybe if I was paid a really high price *wink*.

I am a widow...

2008-08-28T21:47:00.004-04:00

A football widow. Spanky dies every year until he's done coaching. Not only am I a widow but I also have to do all the things that should be "man" work in the house. You know, like taking out the garbage, scratching my butt while getting the mail or peeing on the seat instead of in the toilet. It sucks.

The daily routine is that he leaves for work at 5:30 and I dont actually see him till around 9:30 that night at which time he will probably scarf down his food, get a shower and pass out.

He brought me home something today though. Something that made my hiney tingle. Something that raised my eyebrow. My husband gives me the strangest gifts. If awards were given out for strangest gifts received, I win. Hands down.

I'm not gonna post the photos on this blog of what he lovingly referred to as his stand-in. A friend of his gave it to him today as a joke. Its ironically made of wood LMAO. Anyhow, if I could have loaded real bullets in it, I probably would have shot him with the thing. Then, I'd be a real widow and would HAVE to take out the garbage but I WOULDNT have to wash his undies with doodie stains in the ass of them. Thats a fair trade dontcha think?

You can view my gift here. Do not open in front of your chil'rens.

Mission-FAILED..this message will self destruct in 5 seconds

2008-08-25T15:36:00.005-04:00

Well, my guy got on the bus. He got to the school. I met him at the front and walked him to his class. I NEEDED to do this because at the last second I realize that in my self loathing and miserable sulking, I had forgot to put his name tag and teacher's name that was on his necklace for kindergarten.

All these thoughts of my baby being lost and standing out in the middle of the hallway crying made me floor it the school. After I got my bacon egg and cheese mcgriddle and vanilla iced coffee. but i still floored it.

Okay so I get to his class and take in the rest of his supplies and give them to his teacher's assistant. Then, I took a few pictures and she was still standing next to me. its okay that I'm here right? i asked to her. Well actually she said, we'd rather you didnt but since your here please take your picture and go.

Now, for an instant, to my heartbroken ears, it sounded like she was trying to get between me and my baby. All you moms out there KNOW this is the worlds most dangerous place to be. I came within inches of ripping her face off but i remembered i would have a hard time talking my way out of that one when i got arrested. so i left.

I was fine. I pulled onto the highway and took a deep breath. It was gonna be ok. He was gonna be ok. I, was gonna be ok. Well that was until Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson being played on the radio. Of all the times in the world, why in the hell did this song have to be playing at this particular moment in my life. I lost it. I bawled my eyes out for an hour and when I got home I took a look around at the huge mess we made getting ready for our first day of school.
"OWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!"
I heard Nate calling me from the bedroom. WTF?!?!. I knew he was in school.
"Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.!!!" I heard again.

It was our parrot Grady. Welcoming me home in the most awesome way that he ever have could. So even when they're not here, they're still here :) I just wish he mimicked, mom i love you instead of them fighting lmao.

Mission Mom-possible...

2008-08-25T06:21:00.000-04:00

I'm going to stalk my 5 year old during his first morning as a kindergartener. I NEED to do this. I'm sick. I have issues. I might stop my subscription to myself.

Random thought post of the week.....

2008-08-19T12:10:00.002-04:00

If you take a drink of coffee flavored with french vanilla creamer and then take a sip of Diet Dr. Pepper, it makes it taste like ham.

Bestfriends...

2008-08-18T14:36:00.002-04:00

One from yesterday...

i'm writing a book...

2008-08-16T07:26:00.005-04:00

Yep. its called "Save a whale! Harpoon a fat chick!"

Heres an excerpt. I'll try to post more of it here and there :) I might finish it. I might not. I might publish it. I might not. Either way, its good FREE therapy :)

"No way was I going out there to show her anything that ended below my underwear. I knew she was well aware of how dirty my panties were but the rest of the store didnt. I was breaking out into a full on sweat. My feet got twisted in the legs of the jeans. I started to loose my balance. It was to late. I crashed through the swinging doors of the dressing room. I landed with a huge thud at the feet of a lady with her perfect size 6T daughter. Their eyes were wide as saucers and their mouths hung open in disbelief.
"Wow!" I exclaimed. "Watch that first step. Its a doozie."

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

2008-08-13T23:13:00.002-04:00

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Old photos - Free family tree template

Apparently I have a very Asian look. Um, Mom, is there something you would like to tell me? Is there a reason why I am in love with Asian cuisine? I mean, the proofs right there in front of me...Who's my daddy?

Reminder

2008-08-13T12:57:00.006-04:00

Reminder to self....

This is just something that I have to go through to get me closer. Winners train, losers complain. I'm leaving it all on the field everyday.